Diary of Anne Frank (2008)

So, if there's one thing I tell people while I watch movies, it's that I love history. So, I may be biased in the attempt to review the BBC's 2008 production of "The Diary of Anne Frank" Not only do I love history in itself, but I love World War Two history.

That being said, I will review this movie not only as a movie itself, but how historically accurate it is.

I chose the BBC's 2008 production because, the story is (relatively) the same in all the versions, and the BBC's production was the only one of instant netflix.

So, without further ado the BBC's 2008 production of "The Diary of Anne Frank"

The movie starts off with pictures of Anne Frank, and her family, or least who I assume to be her family, Anne Frank is a pretty recognized face, I don't remember what her mother and father look like.

July 6th Amsterdam, 1942.

It begins with actual words from her diary. Words that are also pretty recongized.

"Writing in a diary is pretty strange thing for someone like me...because in the future, nor I, nor anyone else will care about the writings of a 13 year old school girl." - Oh, how wrong she was.

Otto Frank tells Anne that the family is going into hiding, she can't even bring her cat into hiding, not only is it one more mouth to feed, but you can't have a cat running around while you're in hiding.

So, the family sets off to go into hiding in Otto Frank's office, Miep Geiss is helping hiding them, something I can't imagine doing.

They have to stay quiet until 12:30 at the lunch hour and after 5:00 when the men go home for they are hiding right above working men. It would be a little suspicious if there was noise in a warehouse that is normally empty, would it not?

Edith Frank, the mother has an emotional breakdown, as I think any mother would being in that situation, but Otto convinces her to stay strong for Anne and her sister Margo. The family begins sewing curtains so that noone can see them.

Margo has some sort of lung infection, as least that's what I assume from the amount of coughing. They can't call a doctor, for obvious reasons, but Miep's husband gets medicane for Margo, hopefully it shall help.

Miep's husband lowered a wall and fit a bookshelf against it, to make it look less obvious that there's a door there. Actually, that's pretty ingenious.

The Van Damm's are joining the Frank family in the secret annex. Except Peter, the son of the Van Damm's, who is Anne's age, has a cat. Anne shows Peter around the annex, and tries to make small talk, only Peter is less than keen to small talk, but I don't think I would be in this situation.

Anne and Margo begin having a conversation about Peter, and Anne calls him, what I assume in 1942 means "douchebag".

I have to say, so far this movie gets a 8/10, partly because the emotional changes are excellent.

I can't imagine what it's like not to be able to go outside. For years on end, just the few months in the winter where it's too cold to take the daycare kids outside is hell for me as a teacher, because of the pent up energy. My trival-ness (word?) is nothing compared to this.

In the middle of the night there are gunshots, which means a raid by the Nazi's. Anne instictvely runs to her father's bed for saftey.

However, for now their safe. Because as we all know how the story of the Frank family ends. :(

Another person is going to join, Mr. Dussell, the group is making a decision, and decide that he can stay in the annex, as they have room for one more person. The word around town is that the Frank family escaped to Switzerland, Dussell is very susprised to see him in the annex.

Anne hears from Mr. Dussell that 6,000 Jewish people have been taken, some even from insane asylums and that there is talk about mass sterilzation, Anne is mad at Miep for not telling her, but..I'm not sure if I would in Miep's position either, the Franks, the Van Damm's and Mr. Dussell have enough on their plates, they don't need to hear gory details of war unless totally necessary.

When Mr. Dussell arrives they have been in hiding for four long months. (I don't suppose this truly matters, but that way you can get a time frame).

So far, I find this movie to be very historically accurate. I'm impressed.

We skip ahead to life in the Annex in November of 1942.

Otto Frank's business is being sold and the new owner of the building is coming that afternoon to look it over, hopefully he doesn't look behind the bookcase. He doesn't.

Even though I know the story, I still really hope everytime that the Frank family lives, (well, Otto does....) maybe it's false hope for humanity, I don't know. But I do.

The Van Damm's get in Anne's case for being an intellictual, but what else is there to do in hiding other than reading?

We skip foward to Hannakuah in the Annex. They family has a nice celebration, until Otto and Peter find a smelly liquid seeping from the ceiling above. Turns out, Peter's cat peed on the floor above. That was a nice bit of comedic relief.

Mr Dussell recivees a letter, and begins to sob uncontrobally.

Miep meets Anne's teacher on the street one day and finds out that only four of her classmates are still "around". Miep didn't know which ones, to Anne's dismay.

Mr Dussell who is a dentist, beings working on Mrs Van Damm's mouth, pulling a tooth, I don't know if they had numbing meds back then, but Mrs Van Damm didn't have any, imagine that, I have to get a wisdom tooth pulled soon, and I don't think I could do it without getting novacaine, no way in hell.

It is now June of 1943 and Anne's 14th  birthday. The most imporant thing she recieves is a bar of chocolate, something I'd imagine she hasn't had in forever.

Miep gives her a pair of heels that her niece has outgrown. Actually, they're cute shoes.

Anne has started her period, she's had it 3 times now, and doesn't understand the urges to masturbate as completly natural. I don't think that scene was exactly needed, but I think it showed a lot about Anne and how 14 year old girls think, even 14 year old girls in hiding.

The Van Damm's money is running out, Mr Van Damm tries to sell Mrs Van Damm's fur coat, but she refuses to let it be sold, and tries to convince Peter to sell his bike, as it's forbidden that Jewish people ride bikes, let alone, where is he going to ride it in hiding? I don't think they ended up selling anything. Anne overhears them arguing over the coat and the bike and peers in, Mrs Van Damm yells at her for not staying in her room.

Emotions are running thin. But of course, it is 1943, and as we all know, this story only goes until 1945.

Anne reveals to the diary that she thinks she is falling in love with Peter, who at the beginning of the movie, she hated.

There is a loud breaking of glass from downstairs. Turns out, it was Miep's husband, Peter's job is to unbolt the doors at morning and night so that Miep and her husband can get in, well, he forgot and he had to bust a window to get it, that means people will think there has been a breakin, and call the police.

Peter lightly kisses Anne on the cheek, and then romantically kisses her on the lips, but she pulls away out of fear and runs to her room, and like any kid does, she hides under the covers.

Anne finds Mr Dussell crying uncontrolablly in his bed, but decides it's best to let it be.

Anne and Peter have been spending a lot of time in the attic together, Mrs Van Damm suggests they have ben doing sexual things, but Edith Frank knows her daughter better than that, even if she can't express it.

Edith kisses her daughter goodnight, and tells her to be careful around Peter, for he is younger than his age in many ways.

The two of the them have the first heartfelt conversation the entire movie, but it is ennded quickly by what sounds like more air raids.

Anne asks Margo if she minds her dating Peter, Margo doesn't, she has never thought of him "like that" but she wishes Anne would have told her, for they used to tell each other everything.

Otto tries to have the same conversation with Anne that Edith did, only to more success. Anne feels Otto, and has felt since the beginning of the movie, that her father is Superman and her mother is a dimwit. Why? It never says, could just be because she's a teenager, I'm not sure I much liked my mother when I was 14.

Margo runs into the room and tells Anne that someone has tried to assassinate Adolf Hitler, which as everyone knows, doesn't work. Anne writes a very mean letter to her parents explaining that she is her own person, and doesn't need them, she is going to spend time with Peter whether they like it or not, and there's nothing they can do.

Yep, sounds like teenage angst to me.

It was now May of 1944. There is another loud glass break from downstairs, only this time it is the middle of the night, so everyone knows it is not Miep's husband.

It's bugalars. Otto and Peter go downstairs to check, Peter carries a hammer. The robbers may have spotted the two men, for the door is shutting as they arrive downstairs. Everyone rushes to the bedroom, full of fright, another scene where the emotional changes are excellent. Mrs Van Damm gets up from her seat, moves to a corner in the room.

Miep's husband tells everyone that the robbers found nothing in the warehouse, but they stole things from the offices, including food coupons. Mrs Van Damm tells how she wishes teh police would find them, because then they'd be put out of their misery.

Anne tells Peter, while the two of them are in the attic that she  doesn't understand why there is one law for Christians and another one for Jewish people, he replies by telling her "Your hair looks nice".

Otto Frank gives Anne a briefcase to keep her diary in, so that she can, to the best of her ability "lock it up".

Anne wonders if she will ever write something great. She may have only written one thing, but it's as great as it gets. Anne's great dream at the beginning of the movie was to be a movie star, with 10 minutes left, she admits her new dream is to be a writer, Margo wants to train as a midwife and go to Palenstein.

Margo finally has an emotional breakdown, telling Anne how she "forces" her to keep the peace. There's a lot on Margo's shoulders as the bigger sister.

The families know that the war will soon be drawing to a close. The waiting is getting more unbearble by the second.

Miep's husband got 8 crates of Strawberries at a produce auction, they are making them into jam, but eating even more.

The police find the annex, and capture the families.

Otto admits that they have been hiding for 2 years and the police looked shocked, they all have 5 minutes to pack a bag.

Peter Van Daan - Died in Mauthauseen Camp May 1945
Petronella Van Daan - died in transit to Theresienstadt Camp April 1945
Hermann van Daan - died in Auschwitz camp November 1944
Albery Dussel - died in Neuengamme camp December 1944
Edith Frank - Died in Auschwitz-Birkenau Camp Janurary 1945
Otto Frank - Surivived Auschwitz dued August 1980
Margot Frank - died in Bergen-Belsen Camp March 1945
Anne Frank - died in Bergen-Belson camp March 1945

I don't know if in real life, Miep found the diary or not, but in the movie she does.

The end.

It's a dark tale, I don't think I've seen darker, and by seen...I mean, since I wasn't around in Hitler's time,(and I'm quite okay with that, even though I am not Jewish). Reading, watching movies and plays based on War World 2.

So, I give the movie itself a 9/10. It was very historically accurate, and the acting was very good, for such a difficult role. They seemed to know exactly how each person felt in real life, even though, they of course, wouldn't have known the Frank Van Daan's or Mr Dussel in real life.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Sorry it's been so long again, I've been caught up with work and church stuff, and just life. It's been awhile since I've been able to watch a movie.

So, I love Jason Segal even after the utterly horrible movie that was "Bad teacher". What better way to bring in the new year?

Without further ado, 2008's 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'

I notice from the menu, Kristen Bell is also in this movie, I love her. I have the choice of watching the thetrical version or the extended version, I chose the thetrical version in case some readers of my blog have not seen the extended version.

Jason Segal flexing his pecs first thing off. I'm totally down with this. All the lovey dovey pictures of him with "Sarah" I am not. It always annoys me when people are like that.

Sarah (Kristen Bell) is a television actress in a crime show, which I feel were at their peak in 2008. Peter (Jason Segal) is a composer of the music for the television show Sarah stars on, and the two are dating.

Russel Brand is also a very odd musician in the movie, I mean...odd, doesn't even begin to cut it, he's so odd.

"Peter as you know, I love you very much." says Sarah. Peter realizes it's a breakup and sobs naked in a corner. He may have just gotten out of the shower, but yeah, when I breakup with someone I sob naked in a corner too. And afterwords, he consoles himself with going to a bar with his stepbrother and watching project runway. Yep, that's exactly what I do too. He has a one night stand with a random chick from the bar and has flashbacks of Sarah.

His doctor, yes, his doctor tells him to have sex with everything that moves. Some doctor.

We are 14 minutes and two seconds into this one hour 50 minute and 56 second movie. So far as much as I love Jason Segal, Kristen Brand, and Russel Brand, it gets a 2/10 and that's rounding up.

What's the best thing to do after a breakup, other than having sex and watching Project Runway? Why, go to Hawaii, of course.

Mila Kunis is a hotel attendant, She's a pretty decent actress, That 70s show is a great sitcom, but of course to add dramatic tenion Sarah is at the some hotel at the same resort, and she is dating Russell Brand, who's name I can't seem to catch. Ya know, the weird musician? Rachael (Mila Kunis) gives him the best suite in the hotel for free, after a very awkward meeting between Peter, Rachael, Sarah, and whoever Russell is supposed to be, that's convient.

And then we come into Russell and Sarah and having sex in some very off positions. Really? I mean, really?

Jonah Hill comes in, average actor. Resturant server. Ya know, I'm susprised he's not in the resturant work now. Sarah and Russell are in the same resturant. Peter is getting very stalkish. Seriously, it's annoying.

What happens when I get drunk? I act out scenes from sex in the city. Yep, oh yeah, and I play bad showtunes on the piano when I get drunk. At least that's what Peter does.

Paul Rudd? He always plays a douche, but maybe it'll be different. He certaintly looks like a douche in the costume he's wearing. Peter and Chuck (Paul Rudd) go surfing, yeah, this is gonna go well.

Peter goes to a loau with Rachael for the 4th of July and cannot seem to find shirts that aren't gay, seriously what's up with the shirts? Again, we meet Sarah and Aldia (Russell Brand, finally caught it lol). Aldis begins playing his music in honor of Sarah, yep, that's not corny and overdone.

"Like the Sopranos, it's over. Find a new show" - Some Hawaiian dude talking to Peter. I wish this movie was over.

Peter and Hawaiian dude murder a pig for the loau the next night. Peter cries, naturally.

At the loau the next night, Peter asks Rachael on a date who agrees that his shirt is gay. Noone saw that coming and I'll bet my life, they end up together.

41 minutes and 34 seconds into it. Still a 2/10. Just sayin.

Rachael meets an ex and it ends up in a fight between the ex, a friend (Joseph Gorden Levitt) Peter, and Rachael and it wasn't even a good fight.

and a picture of Rachael flashing a camera in the mens room of a bar, yep, classy.

Rachael pulls some strings and gets Peter to play music from his rock opera. He's working on about Dracula. Dracula, really? was the person who wrote this on acid? At least rthen it might make sense as to why it utterly sucks.

Rachael refuses a kiss, yep another thing not corny, cliche, and overdone.

So, this is so bad I can't even finish it in one sitting. I'll return tomorrow (hopefully).
~*~
Okay, so it's not tomorrow, but close enough. Let's get back it and finish this monstroty.

Come to find out, Sarah's show has veen cancelled, Aldis asks her to go on on an 18 month tour with him. They will leave in two weeks, if she agrees. Sarah doesn't want to go, but what else is an unemployed actress going to do?

Peter has a flashback to an unimportant part of the relationship with Sarah. When he is singing to her a song from the Dracula opera. Seriously, was that 30 second bit necessary?

So, we come back to Aldis on the beach with some dude who is on his honeymoon but cannot seem to penetrate his new bride correctly.

What does Aldis do? Teaches him how to have sex on the beach, using giant chess pieces as the 'woman'

:dafuk:? <-- let's leave it at that.

Rachael asks Peter on a date, but they decide to go on a hike, they even refuse to go with one of the hotel attendants to watch sea turtles have sex. Yep, that's how I spend my time.

Okay, even though this movie is only a 2/10 so far, There has been one funny scene. Peter and Rachael reach the end of the hike, on a ledge overseeing some water.

Peter: if we jumped off this, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad as we've been hurt.
Rachael: let's jump.
Peter *leans in for a kiss*
Rachael: *jumps*

Even though I saw it coming, it was still funny.

So, why not add useless darmatic tension? Peter tries to jump off the ledge, only to slip and is now hanging by a flimsy vine on the side of the cliff. He does jump off saftely and Rachael kisses him.

WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO CLICHE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So, the expensive room Peter is in is needed for guests who can actually afford it. Where is the only other available room?

Why, right next to Sarah's room of course.

Peter makes it his goal to stand up on a wave before he leaves Hawaii. Least this goal isn't supid and well, stupid.

Now for a very awkward scene between Rachael and Sarah. They discuss Peter, and allude to his sex. Yep, that's as awkward as it gets.

And now an awkward scene between Peter and Aldis, who meet on the ocean. Peter was with Sarah for five years, Aldis has been with Sarah for one. Do the math that everyone saw coming since the dawn of time.

Peter does stand up on a wave, but crashes into Aldis who is heading back to shore.

He's okay, has some coral stuck in this leg. Gross. Peter faints at the sight of blood.

Does anyone else think Peter is a whimp? Cause, I do.

Peter and Sarah finally sit down and talk about their relationship.

Aldis, Rachael, Sarah, and Peter all have dinner together, with Aldis in a loud Hawaiian shirt that Sarah picked out.

and Jonah Hill's obession with Aldis is ridicious. Like, I want to shoot Jonah Hill's character in the head. He even tries to clean Aldis' shirt when he spills drinks on it. Yep, that's obessive and creepy. But, I suppose I might be that way too around my favorite musician.

Rachael makes out with Peter in front of Sarah. Ugh, this is mindnumbingly stupid.

Peter and Rachael are having sex. Sarah hears and begins a screaming contest through the walls.

Aldis breaks up with Sarah after the screaming contest.

Sarah tries to get Peter back after Aldis breaks up with her and they begin making out.....Yep.

:dafuk:?

Peter can't get an erection when they eventually begin to have sex and Peter breaks it off with Sarah again and calls her the devil and storms out of the hotel room. Yep, once again, super orginial.

Peter explains to Rachael that he had sex with Sarah, who then rejects him.

As any sensible woman should.

He's heartbroken again. Remember that pictures of Rachael flasing the camera? Well, Peter gets it back like promised, and gets beaten up by Rachael's ex-boyfriend.

Back home....he obviously misses Rachael. So to take his mind off it he finishes his Dracula musical and sends an invite to Rachael. But it's a puppet play.

Alright then.

Rachael does decide to go.

The puppet play was a success. More than a puppet play ever should be.

Rachael walks in on Peter as he is changing out of his unitard and they begin making out.

What is with Jason Segal being naked in this movie?

They end up together, because noone saw that coming.

So, it ended. The movie sucked. The acting was decent at best, the plot sucked horribly.

I give it 2/10