Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Sorry it's been so long again, I've been caught up with work and church stuff, and just life. It's been awhile since I've been able to watch a movie.

So, I love Jason Segal even after the utterly horrible movie that was "Bad teacher". What better way to bring in the new year?

Without further ado, 2008's 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'

I notice from the menu, Kristen Bell is also in this movie, I love her. I have the choice of watching the thetrical version or the extended version, I chose the thetrical version in case some readers of my blog have not seen the extended version.

Jason Segal flexing his pecs first thing off. I'm totally down with this. All the lovey dovey pictures of him with "Sarah" I am not. It always annoys me when people are like that.

Sarah (Kristen Bell) is a television actress in a crime show, which I feel were at their peak in 2008. Peter (Jason Segal) is a composer of the music for the television show Sarah stars on, and the two are dating.

Russel Brand is also a very odd musician in the movie, I mean...odd, doesn't even begin to cut it, he's so odd.

"Peter as you know, I love you very much." says Sarah. Peter realizes it's a breakup and sobs naked in a corner. He may have just gotten out of the shower, but yeah, when I breakup with someone I sob naked in a corner too. And afterwords, he consoles himself with going to a bar with his stepbrother and watching project runway. Yep, that's exactly what I do too. He has a one night stand with a random chick from the bar and has flashbacks of Sarah.

His doctor, yes, his doctor tells him to have sex with everything that moves. Some doctor.

We are 14 minutes and two seconds into this one hour 50 minute and 56 second movie. So far as much as I love Jason Segal, Kristen Brand, and Russel Brand, it gets a 2/10 and that's rounding up.

What's the best thing to do after a breakup, other than having sex and watching Project Runway? Why, go to Hawaii, of course.

Mila Kunis is a hotel attendant, She's a pretty decent actress, That 70s show is a great sitcom, but of course to add dramatic tenion Sarah is at the some hotel at the same resort, and she is dating Russell Brand, who's name I can't seem to catch. Ya know, the weird musician? Rachael (Mila Kunis) gives him the best suite in the hotel for free, after a very awkward meeting between Peter, Rachael, Sarah, and whoever Russell is supposed to be, that's convient.

And then we come into Russell and Sarah and having sex in some very off positions. Really? I mean, really?

Jonah Hill comes in, average actor. Resturant server. Ya know, I'm susprised he's not in the resturant work now. Sarah and Russell are in the same resturant. Peter is getting very stalkish. Seriously, it's annoying.

What happens when I get drunk? I act out scenes from sex in the city. Yep, oh yeah, and I play bad showtunes on the piano when I get drunk. At least that's what Peter does.

Paul Rudd? He always plays a douche, but maybe it'll be different. He certaintly looks like a douche in the costume he's wearing. Peter and Chuck (Paul Rudd) go surfing, yeah, this is gonna go well.

Peter goes to a loau with Rachael for the 4th of July and cannot seem to find shirts that aren't gay, seriously what's up with the shirts? Again, we meet Sarah and Aldia (Russell Brand, finally caught it lol). Aldis begins playing his music in honor of Sarah, yep, that's not corny and overdone.

"Like the Sopranos, it's over. Find a new show" - Some Hawaiian dude talking to Peter. I wish this movie was over.

Peter and Hawaiian dude murder a pig for the loau the next night. Peter cries, naturally.

At the loau the next night, Peter asks Rachael on a date who agrees that his shirt is gay. Noone saw that coming and I'll bet my life, they end up together.

41 minutes and 34 seconds into it. Still a 2/10. Just sayin.

Rachael meets an ex and it ends up in a fight between the ex, a friend (Joseph Gorden Levitt) Peter, and Rachael and it wasn't even a good fight.

and a picture of Rachael flashing a camera in the mens room of a bar, yep, classy.

Rachael pulls some strings and gets Peter to play music from his rock opera. He's working on about Dracula. Dracula, really? was the person who wrote this on acid? At least rthen it might make sense as to why it utterly sucks.

Rachael refuses a kiss, yep another thing not corny, cliche, and overdone.

So, this is so bad I can't even finish it in one sitting. I'll return tomorrow (hopefully).
~*~
Okay, so it's not tomorrow, but close enough. Let's get back it and finish this monstroty.

Come to find out, Sarah's show has veen cancelled, Aldis asks her to go on on an 18 month tour with him. They will leave in two weeks, if she agrees. Sarah doesn't want to go, but what else is an unemployed actress going to do?

Peter has a flashback to an unimportant part of the relationship with Sarah. When he is singing to her a song from the Dracula opera. Seriously, was that 30 second bit necessary?

So, we come back to Aldis on the beach with some dude who is on his honeymoon but cannot seem to penetrate his new bride correctly.

What does Aldis do? Teaches him how to have sex on the beach, using giant chess pieces as the 'woman'

:dafuk:? <-- let's leave it at that.

Rachael asks Peter on a date, but they decide to go on a hike, they even refuse to go with one of the hotel attendants to watch sea turtles have sex. Yep, that's how I spend my time.

Okay, even though this movie is only a 2/10 so far, There has been one funny scene. Peter and Rachael reach the end of the hike, on a ledge overseeing some water.

Peter: if we jumped off this, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad as we've been hurt.
Rachael: let's jump.
Peter *leans in for a kiss*
Rachael: *jumps*

Even though I saw it coming, it was still funny.

So, why not add useless darmatic tension? Peter tries to jump off the ledge, only to slip and is now hanging by a flimsy vine on the side of the cliff. He does jump off saftely and Rachael kisses him.

WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO CLICHE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So, the expensive room Peter is in is needed for guests who can actually afford it. Where is the only other available room?

Why, right next to Sarah's room of course.

Peter makes it his goal to stand up on a wave before he leaves Hawaii. Least this goal isn't supid and well, stupid.

Now for a very awkward scene between Rachael and Sarah. They discuss Peter, and allude to his sex. Yep, that's as awkward as it gets.

And now an awkward scene between Peter and Aldis, who meet on the ocean. Peter was with Sarah for five years, Aldis has been with Sarah for one. Do the math that everyone saw coming since the dawn of time.

Peter does stand up on a wave, but crashes into Aldis who is heading back to shore.

He's okay, has some coral stuck in this leg. Gross. Peter faints at the sight of blood.

Does anyone else think Peter is a whimp? Cause, I do.

Peter and Sarah finally sit down and talk about their relationship.

Aldis, Rachael, Sarah, and Peter all have dinner together, with Aldis in a loud Hawaiian shirt that Sarah picked out.

and Jonah Hill's obession with Aldis is ridicious. Like, I want to shoot Jonah Hill's character in the head. He even tries to clean Aldis' shirt when he spills drinks on it. Yep, that's obessive and creepy. But, I suppose I might be that way too around my favorite musician.

Rachael makes out with Peter in front of Sarah. Ugh, this is mindnumbingly stupid.

Peter and Rachael are having sex. Sarah hears and begins a screaming contest through the walls.

Aldis breaks up with Sarah after the screaming contest.

Sarah tries to get Peter back after Aldis breaks up with her and they begin making out.....Yep.

:dafuk:?

Peter can't get an erection when they eventually begin to have sex and Peter breaks it off with Sarah again and calls her the devil and storms out of the hotel room. Yep, once again, super orginial.

Peter explains to Rachael that he had sex with Sarah, who then rejects him.

As any sensible woman should.

He's heartbroken again. Remember that pictures of Rachael flasing the camera? Well, Peter gets it back like promised, and gets beaten up by Rachael's ex-boyfriend.

Back home....he obviously misses Rachael. So to take his mind off it he finishes his Dracula musical and sends an invite to Rachael. But it's a puppet play.

Alright then.

Rachael does decide to go.

The puppet play was a success. More than a puppet play ever should be.

Rachael walks in on Peter as he is changing out of his unitard and they begin making out.

What is with Jason Segal being naked in this movie?

They end up together, because noone saw that coming.

So, it ended. The movie sucked. The acting was decent at best, the plot sucked horribly.

I give it 2/10