So, if there's one thing I tell people while I watch movies, it's that I love history. So, I may be biased in the attempt to review the BBC's 2008 production of "The Diary of Anne Frank" Not only do I love history in itself, but I love World War Two history.
That being said, I will review this movie not only as a movie itself, but how historically accurate it is.
I chose the BBC's 2008 production because, the story is (relatively) the same in all the versions, and the BBC's production was the only one of instant netflix.
So, without further ado the BBC's 2008 production of "The Diary of Anne Frank"
The movie starts off with pictures of Anne Frank, and her family, or least who I assume to be her family, Anne Frank is a pretty recognized face, I don't remember what her mother and father look like.
July 6th Amsterdam, 1942.
It begins with actual words from her diary. Words that are also pretty recongized.
"Writing in a diary is pretty strange thing for someone like me...because in the future, nor I, nor anyone else will care about the writings of a 13 year old school girl." - Oh, how wrong she was.
Otto Frank tells Anne that the family is going into hiding, she can't even bring her cat into hiding, not only is it one more mouth to feed, but you can't have a cat running around while you're in hiding.
So, the family sets off to go into hiding in Otto Frank's office, Miep Geiss is helping hiding them, something I can't imagine doing.
They have to stay quiet until 12:30 at the lunch hour and after 5:00 when the men go home for they are hiding right above working men. It would be a little suspicious if there was noise in a warehouse that is normally empty, would it not?
Edith Frank, the mother has an emotional breakdown, as I think any mother would being in that situation, but Otto convinces her to stay strong for Anne and her sister Margo. The family begins sewing curtains so that noone can see them.
Margo has some sort of lung infection, as least that's what I assume from the amount of coughing. They can't call a doctor, for obvious reasons, but Miep's husband gets medicane for Margo, hopefully it shall help.
Miep's husband lowered a wall and fit a bookshelf against it, to make it look less obvious that there's a door there. Actually, that's pretty ingenious.
The Van Damm's are joining the Frank family in the secret annex. Except Peter, the son of the Van Damm's, who is Anne's age, has a cat. Anne shows Peter around the annex, and tries to make small talk, only Peter is less than keen to small talk, but I don't think I would be in this situation.
Anne and Margo begin having a conversation about Peter, and Anne calls him, what I assume in 1942 means "douchebag".
I have to say, so far this movie gets a 8/10, partly because the emotional changes are excellent.
I can't imagine what it's like not to be able to go outside. For years on end, just the few months in the winter where it's too cold to take the daycare kids outside is hell for me as a teacher, because of the pent up energy. My trival-ness (word?) is nothing compared to this.
In the middle of the night there are gunshots, which means a raid by the Nazi's. Anne instictvely runs to her father's bed for saftey.
However, for now their safe. Because as we all know how the story of the Frank family ends. :(
Another person is going to join, Mr. Dussell, the group is making a decision, and decide that he can stay in the annex, as they have room for one more person. The word around town is that the Frank family escaped to Switzerland, Dussell is very susprised to see him in the annex.
Anne hears from Mr. Dussell that 6,000 Jewish people have been taken, some even from insane asylums and that there is talk about mass sterilzation, Anne is mad at Miep for not telling her, but..I'm not sure if I would in Miep's position either, the Franks, the Van Damm's and Mr. Dussell have enough on their plates, they don't need to hear gory details of war unless totally necessary.
When Mr. Dussell arrives they have been in hiding for four long months. (I don't suppose this truly matters, but that way you can get a time frame).
So far, I find this movie to be very historically accurate. I'm impressed.
We skip ahead to life in the Annex in November of 1942.
Otto Frank's business is being sold and the new owner of the building is coming that afternoon to look it over, hopefully he doesn't look behind the bookcase. He doesn't.
Even though I know the story, I still really hope everytime that the Frank family lives, (well, Otto does....) maybe it's false hope for humanity, I don't know. But I do.
The Van Damm's get in Anne's case for being an intellictual, but what else is there to do in hiding other than reading?
We skip foward to Hannakuah in the Annex. They family has a nice celebration, until Otto and Peter find a smelly liquid seeping from the ceiling above. Turns out, Peter's cat peed on the floor above. That was a nice bit of comedic relief.
Mr Dussell recivees a letter, and begins to sob uncontrobally.
Miep meets Anne's teacher on the street one day and finds out that only four of her classmates are still "around". Miep didn't know which ones, to Anne's dismay.
Mr Dussell who is a dentist, beings working on Mrs Van Damm's mouth, pulling a tooth, I don't know if they had numbing meds back then, but Mrs Van Damm didn't have any, imagine that, I have to get a wisdom tooth pulled soon, and I don't think I could do it without getting novacaine, no way in hell.
It is now June of 1943 and Anne's 14th birthday. The most imporant thing she recieves is a bar of chocolate, something I'd imagine she hasn't had in forever.
Miep gives her a pair of heels that her niece has outgrown. Actually, they're cute shoes.
Anne has started her period, she's had it 3 times now, and doesn't understand the urges to masturbate as completly natural. I don't think that scene was exactly needed, but I think it showed a lot about Anne and how 14 year old girls think, even 14 year old girls in hiding.
The Van Damm's money is running out, Mr Van Damm tries to sell Mrs Van Damm's fur coat, but she refuses to let it be sold, and tries to convince Peter to sell his bike, as it's forbidden that Jewish people ride bikes, let alone, where is he going to ride it in hiding? I don't think they ended up selling anything. Anne overhears them arguing over the coat and the bike and peers in, Mrs Van Damm yells at her for not staying in her room.
Emotions are running thin. But of course, it is 1943, and as we all know, this story only goes until 1945.
Anne reveals to the diary that she thinks she is falling in love with Peter, who at the beginning of the movie, she hated.
There is a loud breaking of glass from downstairs. Turns out, it was Miep's husband, Peter's job is to unbolt the doors at morning and night so that Miep and her husband can get in, well, he forgot and he had to bust a window to get it, that means people will think there has been a breakin, and call the police.
Peter lightly kisses Anne on the cheek, and then romantically kisses her on the lips, but she pulls away out of fear and runs to her room, and like any kid does, she hides under the covers.
Anne finds Mr Dussell crying uncontrolablly in his bed, but decides it's best to let it be.
Anne and Peter have been spending a lot of time in the attic together, Mrs Van Damm suggests they have ben doing sexual things, but Edith Frank knows her daughter better than that, even if she can't express it.
Edith kisses her daughter goodnight, and tells her to be careful around Peter, for he is younger than his age in many ways.
The two of the them have the first heartfelt conversation the entire movie, but it is ennded quickly by what sounds like more air raids.
Anne asks Margo if she minds her dating Peter, Margo doesn't, she has never thought of him "like that" but she wishes Anne would have told her, for they used to tell each other everything.
Otto tries to have the same conversation with Anne that Edith did, only to more success. Anne feels Otto, and has felt since the beginning of the movie, that her father is Superman and her mother is a dimwit. Why? It never says, could just be because she's a teenager, I'm not sure I much liked my mother when I was 14.
Margo runs into the room and tells Anne that someone has tried to assassinate Adolf Hitler, which as everyone knows, doesn't work. Anne writes a very mean letter to her parents explaining that she is her own person, and doesn't need them, she is going to spend time with Peter whether they like it or not, and there's nothing they can do.
Yep, sounds like teenage angst to me.
It was now May of 1944. There is another loud glass break from downstairs, only this time it is the middle of the night, so everyone knows it is not Miep's husband.
It's bugalars. Otto and Peter go downstairs to check, Peter carries a hammer. The robbers may have spotted the two men, for the door is shutting as they arrive downstairs. Everyone rushes to the bedroom, full of fright, another scene where the emotional changes are excellent. Mrs Van Damm gets up from her seat, moves to a corner in the room.
Miep's husband tells everyone that the robbers found nothing in the warehouse, but they stole things from the offices, including food coupons. Mrs Van Damm tells how she wishes teh police would find them, because then they'd be put out of their misery.
Anne tells Peter, while the two of them are in the attic that she doesn't understand why there is one law for Christians and another one for Jewish people, he replies by telling her "Your hair looks nice".
Otto Frank gives Anne a briefcase to keep her diary in, so that she can, to the best of her ability "lock it up".
Anne wonders if she will ever write something great. She may have only written one thing, but it's as great as it gets. Anne's great dream at the beginning of the movie was to be a movie star, with 10 minutes left, she admits her new dream is to be a writer, Margo wants to train as a midwife and go to Palenstein.
Margo finally has an emotional breakdown, telling Anne how she "forces" her to keep the peace. There's a lot on Margo's shoulders as the bigger sister.
The families know that the war will soon be drawing to a close. The waiting is getting more unbearble by the second.
Miep's husband got 8 crates of Strawberries at a produce auction, they are making them into jam, but eating even more.
The police find the annex, and capture the families.
Otto admits that they have been hiding for 2 years and the police looked shocked, they all have 5 minutes to pack a bag.
Peter Van Daan - Died in Mauthauseen Camp May 1945
Petronella Van Daan - died in transit to Theresienstadt Camp April 1945
Hermann van Daan - died in Auschwitz camp November 1944
Albery Dussel - died in Neuengamme camp December 1944
Edith Frank - Died in Auschwitz-Birkenau Camp Janurary 1945
Otto Frank - Surivived Auschwitz dued August 1980
Margot Frank - died in Bergen-Belsen Camp March 1945
Anne Frank - died in Bergen-Belson camp March 1945
I don't know if in real life, Miep found the diary or not, but in the movie she does.
The end.
It's a dark tale, I don't think I've seen darker, and by seen...I mean, since I wasn't around in Hitler's time,(and I'm quite okay with that, even though I am not Jewish). Reading, watching movies and plays based on War World 2.
So, I give the movie itself a 9/10. It was very historically accurate, and the acting was very good, for such a difficult role. They seemed to know exactly how each person felt in real life, even though, they of course, wouldn't have known the Frank Van Daan's or Mr Dussel in real life.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
Sorry it's been so long again, I've been caught up with work and church stuff, and just life. It's been awhile since I've been able to watch a movie.
So, I love Jason Segal even after the utterly horrible movie that was "Bad teacher". What better way to bring in the new year?
Without further ado, 2008's 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'
I notice from the menu, Kristen Bell is also in this movie, I love her. I have the choice of watching the thetrical version or the extended version, I chose the thetrical version in case some readers of my blog have not seen the extended version.
Jason Segal flexing his pecs first thing off. I'm totally down with this. All the lovey dovey pictures of him with "Sarah" I am not. It always annoys me when people are like that.
Sarah (Kristen Bell) is a television actress in a crime show, which I feel were at their peak in 2008. Peter (Jason Segal) is a composer of the music for the television show Sarah stars on, and the two are dating.
Russel Brand is also a very odd musician in the movie, I mean...odd, doesn't even begin to cut it, he's so odd.
"Peter as you know, I love you very much." says Sarah. Peter realizes it's a breakup and sobs naked in a corner. He may have just gotten out of the shower, but yeah, when I breakup with someone I sob naked in a corner too. And afterwords, he consoles himself with going to a bar with his stepbrother and watching project runway. Yep, that's exactly what I do too. He has a one night stand with a random chick from the bar and has flashbacks of Sarah.
His doctor, yes, his doctor tells him to have sex with everything that moves. Some doctor.
We are 14 minutes and two seconds into this one hour 50 minute and 56 second movie. So far as much as I love Jason Segal, Kristen Brand, and Russel Brand, it gets a 2/10 and that's rounding up.
What's the best thing to do after a breakup, other than having sex and watching Project Runway? Why, go to Hawaii, of course.
Mila Kunis is a hotel attendant, She's a pretty decent actress, That 70s show is a great sitcom, but of course to add dramatic tenion Sarah is at the some hotel at the same resort, and she is dating Russell Brand, who's name I can't seem to catch. Ya know, the weird musician? Rachael (Mila Kunis) gives him the best suite in the hotel for free, after a very awkward meeting between Peter, Rachael, Sarah, and whoever Russell is supposed to be, that's convient.
And then we come into Russell and Sarah and having sex in some very off positions. Really? I mean, really?
Jonah Hill comes in, average actor. Resturant server. Ya know, I'm susprised he's not in the resturant work now. Sarah and Russell are in the same resturant. Peter is getting very stalkish. Seriously, it's annoying.
What happens when I get drunk? I act out scenes from sex in the city. Yep, oh yeah, and I play bad showtunes on the piano when I get drunk. At least that's what Peter does.
Paul Rudd? He always plays a douche, but maybe it'll be different. He certaintly looks like a douche in the costume he's wearing. Peter and Chuck (Paul Rudd) go surfing, yeah, this is gonna go well.
Peter goes to a loau with Rachael for the 4th of July and cannot seem to find shirts that aren't gay, seriously what's up with the shirts? Again, we meet Sarah and Aldia (Russell Brand, finally caught it lol). Aldis begins playing his music in honor of Sarah, yep, that's not corny and overdone.
"Like the Sopranos, it's over. Find a new show" - Some Hawaiian dude talking to Peter. I wish this movie was over.
Peter and Hawaiian dude murder a pig for the loau the next night. Peter cries, naturally.
At the loau the next night, Peter asks Rachael on a date who agrees that his shirt is gay. Noone saw that coming and I'll bet my life, they end up together.
41 minutes and 34 seconds into it. Still a 2/10. Just sayin.
Rachael meets an ex and it ends up in a fight between the ex, a friend (Joseph Gorden Levitt) Peter, and Rachael and it wasn't even a good fight.
and a picture of Rachael flashing a camera in the mens room of a bar, yep, classy.
Rachael pulls some strings and gets Peter to play music from his rock opera. He's working on about Dracula. Dracula, really? was the person who wrote this on acid? At least rthen it might make sense as to why it utterly sucks.
Rachael refuses a kiss, yep another thing not corny, cliche, and overdone.
So, this is so bad I can't even finish it in one sitting. I'll return tomorrow (hopefully).
~*~
Okay, so it's not tomorrow, but close enough. Let's get back it and finish this monstroty.
Come to find out, Sarah's show has veen cancelled, Aldis asks her to go on on an 18 month tour with him. They will leave in two weeks, if she agrees. Sarah doesn't want to go, but what else is an unemployed actress going to do?
Peter has a flashback to an unimportant part of the relationship with Sarah. When he is singing to her a song from the Dracula opera. Seriously, was that 30 second bit necessary?
So, we come back to Aldis on the beach with some dude who is on his honeymoon but cannot seem to penetrate his new bride correctly.
What does Aldis do? Teaches him how to have sex on the beach, using giant chess pieces as the 'woman'
:dafuk:? <-- let's leave it at that.
Rachael asks Peter on a date, but they decide to go on a hike, they even refuse to go with one of the hotel attendants to watch sea turtles have sex. Yep, that's how I spend my time.
Okay, even though this movie is only a 2/10 so far, There has been one funny scene. Peter and Rachael reach the end of the hike, on a ledge overseeing some water.
Peter: if we jumped off this, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad as we've been hurt.
Rachael: let's jump.
Peter *leans in for a kiss*
Rachael: *jumps*
Even though I saw it coming, it was still funny.
So, why not add useless darmatic tension? Peter tries to jump off the ledge, only to slip and is now hanging by a flimsy vine on the side of the cliff. He does jump off saftely and Rachael kisses him.
WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO CLICHE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
So, the expensive room Peter is in is needed for guests who can actually afford it. Where is the only other available room?
Why, right next to Sarah's room of course.
Peter makes it his goal to stand up on a wave before he leaves Hawaii. Least this goal isn't supid and well, stupid.
Now for a very awkward scene between Rachael and Sarah. They discuss Peter, and allude to his sex. Yep, that's as awkward as it gets.
And now an awkward scene between Peter and Aldis, who meet on the ocean. Peter was with Sarah for five years, Aldis has been with Sarah for one. Do the math that everyone saw coming since the dawn of time.
Peter does stand up on a wave, but crashes into Aldis who is heading back to shore.
He's okay, has some coral stuck in this leg. Gross. Peter faints at the sight of blood.
Does anyone else think Peter is a whimp? Cause, I do.
Peter and Sarah finally sit down and talk about their relationship.
Aldis, Rachael, Sarah, and Peter all have dinner together, with Aldis in a loud Hawaiian shirt that Sarah picked out.
and Jonah Hill's obession with Aldis is ridicious. Like, I want to shoot Jonah Hill's character in the head. He even tries to clean Aldis' shirt when he spills drinks on it. Yep, that's obessive and creepy. But, I suppose I might be that way too around my favorite musician.
Rachael makes out with Peter in front of Sarah. Ugh, this is mindnumbingly stupid.
Peter and Rachael are having sex. Sarah hears and begins a screaming contest through the walls.
Aldis breaks up with Sarah after the screaming contest.
Sarah tries to get Peter back after Aldis breaks up with her and they begin making out.....Yep.
:dafuk:?
Peter can't get an erection when they eventually begin to have sex and Peter breaks it off with Sarah again and calls her the devil and storms out of the hotel room. Yep, once again, super orginial.
Peter explains to Rachael that he had sex with Sarah, who then rejects him.
As any sensible woman should.
He's heartbroken again. Remember that pictures of Rachael flasing the camera? Well, Peter gets it back like promised, and gets beaten up by Rachael's ex-boyfriend.
Back home....he obviously misses Rachael. So to take his mind off it he finishes his Dracula musical and sends an invite to Rachael. But it's a puppet play.
Alright then.
Rachael does decide to go.
The puppet play was a success. More than a puppet play ever should be.
Rachael walks in on Peter as he is changing out of his unitard and they begin making out.
What is with Jason Segal being naked in this movie?
They end up together, because noone saw that coming.
So, it ended. The movie sucked. The acting was decent at best, the plot sucked horribly.
I give it 2/10
So, I love Jason Segal even after the utterly horrible movie that was "Bad teacher". What better way to bring in the new year?
Without further ado, 2008's 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'
I notice from the menu, Kristen Bell is also in this movie, I love her. I have the choice of watching the thetrical version or the extended version, I chose the thetrical version in case some readers of my blog have not seen the extended version.
Jason Segal flexing his pecs first thing off. I'm totally down with this. All the lovey dovey pictures of him with "Sarah" I am not. It always annoys me when people are like that.
Sarah (Kristen Bell) is a television actress in a crime show, which I feel were at their peak in 2008. Peter (Jason Segal) is a composer of the music for the television show Sarah stars on, and the two are dating.
Russel Brand is also a very odd musician in the movie, I mean...odd, doesn't even begin to cut it, he's so odd.
"Peter as you know, I love you very much." says Sarah. Peter realizes it's a breakup and sobs naked in a corner. He may have just gotten out of the shower, but yeah, when I breakup with someone I sob naked in a corner too. And afterwords, he consoles himself with going to a bar with his stepbrother and watching project runway. Yep, that's exactly what I do too. He has a one night stand with a random chick from the bar and has flashbacks of Sarah.
His doctor, yes, his doctor tells him to have sex with everything that moves. Some doctor.
We are 14 minutes and two seconds into this one hour 50 minute and 56 second movie. So far as much as I love Jason Segal, Kristen Brand, and Russel Brand, it gets a 2/10 and that's rounding up.
What's the best thing to do after a breakup, other than having sex and watching Project Runway? Why, go to Hawaii, of course.
Mila Kunis is a hotel attendant, She's a pretty decent actress, That 70s show is a great sitcom, but of course to add dramatic tenion Sarah is at the some hotel at the same resort, and she is dating Russell Brand, who's name I can't seem to catch. Ya know, the weird musician? Rachael (Mila Kunis) gives him the best suite in the hotel for free, after a very awkward meeting between Peter, Rachael, Sarah, and whoever Russell is supposed to be, that's convient.
And then we come into Russell and Sarah and having sex in some very off positions. Really? I mean, really?
Jonah Hill comes in, average actor. Resturant server. Ya know, I'm susprised he's not in the resturant work now. Sarah and Russell are in the same resturant. Peter is getting very stalkish. Seriously, it's annoying.
What happens when I get drunk? I act out scenes from sex in the city. Yep, oh yeah, and I play bad showtunes on the piano when I get drunk. At least that's what Peter does.
Paul Rudd? He always plays a douche, but maybe it'll be different. He certaintly looks like a douche in the costume he's wearing. Peter and Chuck (Paul Rudd) go surfing, yeah, this is gonna go well.
Peter goes to a loau with Rachael for the 4th of July and cannot seem to find shirts that aren't gay, seriously what's up with the shirts? Again, we meet Sarah and Aldia (Russell Brand, finally caught it lol). Aldis begins playing his music in honor of Sarah, yep, that's not corny and overdone.
"Like the Sopranos, it's over. Find a new show" - Some Hawaiian dude talking to Peter. I wish this movie was over.
Peter and Hawaiian dude murder a pig for the loau the next night. Peter cries, naturally.
At the loau the next night, Peter asks Rachael on a date who agrees that his shirt is gay. Noone saw that coming and I'll bet my life, they end up together.
41 minutes and 34 seconds into it. Still a 2/10. Just sayin.
Rachael meets an ex and it ends up in a fight between the ex, a friend (Joseph Gorden Levitt) Peter, and Rachael and it wasn't even a good fight.
and a picture of Rachael flashing a camera in the mens room of a bar, yep, classy.
Rachael pulls some strings and gets Peter to play music from his rock opera. He's working on about Dracula. Dracula, really? was the person who wrote this on acid? At least rthen it might make sense as to why it utterly sucks.
Rachael refuses a kiss, yep another thing not corny, cliche, and overdone.
So, this is so bad I can't even finish it in one sitting. I'll return tomorrow (hopefully).
~*~
Okay, so it's not tomorrow, but close enough. Let's get back it and finish this monstroty.
Come to find out, Sarah's show has veen cancelled, Aldis asks her to go on on an 18 month tour with him. They will leave in two weeks, if she agrees. Sarah doesn't want to go, but what else is an unemployed actress going to do?
Peter has a flashback to an unimportant part of the relationship with Sarah. When he is singing to her a song from the Dracula opera. Seriously, was that 30 second bit necessary?
So, we come back to Aldis on the beach with some dude who is on his honeymoon but cannot seem to penetrate his new bride correctly.
What does Aldis do? Teaches him how to have sex on the beach, using giant chess pieces as the 'woman'
:dafuk:? <-- let's leave it at that.
Rachael asks Peter on a date, but they decide to go on a hike, they even refuse to go with one of the hotel attendants to watch sea turtles have sex. Yep, that's how I spend my time.
Okay, even though this movie is only a 2/10 so far, There has been one funny scene. Peter and Rachael reach the end of the hike, on a ledge overseeing some water.
Peter: if we jumped off this, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad as we've been hurt.
Rachael: let's jump.
Peter *leans in for a kiss*
Rachael: *jumps*
Even though I saw it coming, it was still funny.
So, why not add useless darmatic tension? Peter tries to jump off the ledge, only to slip and is now hanging by a flimsy vine on the side of the cliff. He does jump off saftely and Rachael kisses him.
WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO CLICHE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
So, the expensive room Peter is in is needed for guests who can actually afford it. Where is the only other available room?
Why, right next to Sarah's room of course.
Peter makes it his goal to stand up on a wave before he leaves Hawaii. Least this goal isn't supid and well, stupid.
Now for a very awkward scene between Rachael and Sarah. They discuss Peter, and allude to his sex. Yep, that's as awkward as it gets.
And now an awkward scene between Peter and Aldis, who meet on the ocean. Peter was with Sarah for five years, Aldis has been with Sarah for one. Do the math that everyone saw coming since the dawn of time.
Peter does stand up on a wave, but crashes into Aldis who is heading back to shore.
He's okay, has some coral stuck in this leg. Gross. Peter faints at the sight of blood.
Does anyone else think Peter is a whimp? Cause, I do.
Peter and Sarah finally sit down and talk about their relationship.
Aldis, Rachael, Sarah, and Peter all have dinner together, with Aldis in a loud Hawaiian shirt that Sarah picked out.
and Jonah Hill's obession with Aldis is ridicious. Like, I want to shoot Jonah Hill's character in the head. He even tries to clean Aldis' shirt when he spills drinks on it. Yep, that's obessive and creepy. But, I suppose I might be that way too around my favorite musician.
Rachael makes out with Peter in front of Sarah. Ugh, this is mindnumbingly stupid.
Peter and Rachael are having sex. Sarah hears and begins a screaming contest through the walls.
Aldis breaks up with Sarah after the screaming contest.
Sarah tries to get Peter back after Aldis breaks up with her and they begin making out.....Yep.
:dafuk:?
Peter can't get an erection when they eventually begin to have sex and Peter breaks it off with Sarah again and calls her the devil and storms out of the hotel room. Yep, once again, super orginial.
Peter explains to Rachael that he had sex with Sarah, who then rejects him.
As any sensible woman should.
He's heartbroken again. Remember that pictures of Rachael flasing the camera? Well, Peter gets it back like promised, and gets beaten up by Rachael's ex-boyfriend.
Back home....he obviously misses Rachael. So to take his mind off it he finishes his Dracula musical and sends an invite to Rachael. But it's a puppet play.
Alright then.
Rachael does decide to go.
The puppet play was a success. More than a puppet play ever should be.
Rachael walks in on Peter as he is changing out of his unitard and they begin making out.
What is with Jason Segal being naked in this movie?
They end up together, because noone saw that coming.
So, it ended. The movie sucked. The acting was decent at best, the plot sucked horribly.
I give it 2/10
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Sorry it's been almost 10 days in between updates. I wanted to sit and watch 2 or 3 movies yesterday, and review them....but sadly, I was stuck in bed with a 24hr virus. It really sucked. However, I'm better today, and ready to get back to it!
Also, I found out that my Dad (who's Netflix account I use) took a lot of DVDs off the queue, so I have no idea what the next movie I wanted to review will be, I sent some more in, but I don't know if he'll decide to knock those off as well. We shall see, I suppose and all in all, it doesn't truly matter, this is exactly the kind of thing the $5 bin at Walmart is for. :)
So; to get this started...
From 1993 - Mrs. Doubtfire. Starring Robin Williams, Sally Field and Pierce Brosnan.
Okay, so let me start off by saying Robin Williams is one of my favorite actors/comedians (except the movie Old Dogs, that sucked and made me fear for humanity a bit). I love Sally Field, especially in Steel Magnoials, but I'm a sucker for a sappy story, even if I do hate them, which probably doesn't make much sense, and I've accepted that. Pierce Brosnan, I can do without, he doesn't bother me, but he's not my favorite.
So, Chris Columbus is director of this movie. That's prboably a good sign, I enjoyed the first two Harry Potter movies (and the rest as well, but I don't believe Columbus directed them, correct me if I'm wrong). The Goonies is a great movie, along with Gremlins. I also found out, upon a quick IMDB search he directed the 2005 version of RENT, which I never saw, but I have seen a play version, and I loved it. He also directed my favorite Julia Roberts movie, "Stepmom". Home Alone 2. Not bad, but the first one was better.
Moving on...
So, the movie starts with Robin Williams at his best. Doing voice impressions. This time he is a bird, and a cat, the cat wants to eat the bird in a Looney Toons style/banter. Seen it, personally, as cool as the Looney Toons are, that style is long been done.
However, the cat, before he eats the bird tries to give the little bird a cigarette, Robin Williams protests, (as he should) by, in the very squeaky bird voice "I don't want to get beak cancer" - "What a foul way for a bird to die" and so on.
Daniel's (Robin Williams) boss rebuttals by telling him "It's not an Oprah Winfrey special, say the line." But Daniel, realizes, and from the looks of it has pulled a stunt like this before "Millions of kids watch this show, it's like sending them all pack of Camel and saying 'light up'".
Daniel quits his job after the issue with his, who I assume to be, boss. It seems like he just couldn't bring himself to promote smoking. Actually, I am fully aware it is only a movie, but I applaud him.
Daniel goes to pick his three kids up from school (the youngest being Mara Wilson, and Matilda is my guilty pleasure movie.) It also turns out to be the son's 12th birthday. Daniel gets his son a petting zoo for this birthday, in the front yard. Yep, that's what I wanted on my 12th birthday too. Mom (Sally Field) told the son he wasn't allowed to have a birthday party because of his grades, and yet Daniel rebuttles with "Mom isn't going to be home for another four hours, is she?" Yeah, that's great parenting.
However, Daniel's family must have, like every family movie, the annoying neighbor, the lady gets tired of the animals eating her plants, and calls the authorites. AKA Miranda Hillard, AKA Daniel's wife, AKA Sally Field.
We come into Miranda's work, as an interior designer. She is in a meeting, but Martin Mull interups, (ya know, I've really only liked that man in 2 roles, as the principal from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and as Roseanne's boss, from Roseanne, other than that, I don't find him that appealing). Anyway, Martin Mull (who's name has not been mentioned yet) mention to Miranda that Stuart Dunnmeyer has called. She reacts the way every woman does, when they hear the name of the man they adore. That is, when they're in high school. Miranda is a grown woman. It sickness me.
Miranda comes home, after talking to her neighbor, a literal zoo, on her property. It's illegal to hold banyard nature animals in a residental area, WHO KNEW? She also finds Daniel and her son dancing to rap music on a table, that probably doesn't help the cause. Daniel and Miranda begin arguing, and the kids watch/listen from the top of the stairs. That's gotta be a Happy Birthday killer.
and....big shocker, Miranda wants a divorce, yep, didn't see that coming when he brought home the zoo.
Daniel goes over to this friend's house. One who is on the phone with his mother (and has a very annoying voice) and then other, who makes costume masks. That's handy.
The court grants custody of the children to Miranda, considering the fact that Daniel has no job and no place to live, (he's crashing on the friend's couch). I don't blame the court. He's allowed to see them every Saturday.
Enter Stuart Dunnmeyer, and Miranda Hillard who has whipped cream on the top of her lip. Yeah, that's not embarassing.
Miranda is trying to show off her sketches, of a house that Stuart wants to refinish, but all Stuart wants to do is flirt. Miranda agrees to meet with him later in the week, to "talk".
It's Saturday night, Daniel's time with the three children, and Miranda was an hour late dropping them off, and is now an hour early picking them up, Needless to say, Daniel doesn't like that.
Miranda and he begin talking, Miranda is taking out a personal ad, to try and gain a housekeeper.
Daniel borrows the personal to take a look at it, using the "I have a right to know who is going to be with my children". The idea is churning in his mind, he changes one of the digits of the number Miranda wrote down. Daniel begins calling Miranda using his fake voices, and claming to be people looking for the job, he comes up with the craziest people he can. Then, later, he comes up with Mrs. Doubtfire. A very charming English woman, does anyone see the flaw in his plan? Daniel is not English nor a woman.
What's the best thing do it in this circumstance? Get his friends who make masks to turn him into a woman.
Mrs Doubtfire meets the family. Miranda is mezmerized by Mrs. Doubtfire, and I'm not going to lie, it's a little creepy. After Mrs, Doubtfire meets the children, who all, but the oldest, Lydia, seem to like her, Miranda offers Mrs Doubtfire a cup of tea. Yep, that's not cliche offering the English woman a cup of tea.
Miranda: You remind me of someone.
Me: REALLY?! I WONDER WHO?!?!?!
So, Daniel/Mrs Doubtfire got the job. Because noone saw that coming, right?
On the way home, he bumps into his case worker, and pretends to be, since he is still the costume, Daniel's sister, yeah....nothing can go wrong here, right? and two Asian children see him in the middle of changing back into Mrs Doubtfire. Sadly, he drops his mask out the window, and decides he needs to go get it. and cracks a Norman Bates joke. and the mask gets squished by a semitruck driving down the road, that's convienent, isn't it?
What does one decide to do in the circumstance of having company who is expecting a woman, but having no face? Cover your face in meriange. That usually does the trick.
Mrs Doubtfire, with a new mask catches herself on fire while trying to cook dinner, which went about as well as one could expect, in case you wondering, beating yourself with a spaulta is not the way to put out a fire.
Stuart and Miranda are now dating, and least I would assume...from the goodnight kiss he gave her. Daniel decides to retaliate by breaking off the emblem of his car.
As a person who loves cars, I have to say I almost cried.
At some point in every person's life they are going to have to go to the bathroom. However, most women don't get walked in on by their kids, as they pee, standing up. But, it's still a classic scene. One of my favorite, does that make me odd?
So, the two older kids figure it out, they can't tell the youngest one due to the fact she'll spill to Miranda.
Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.
I doubt this movie will kill off the two oldest children, so I have a feeling it's not going to end the way Daniel wanted it. Mrs. Doubtfire and Miranda begin to have a conversation about Daniel, and how the marriage went wrong, it went wrong the way most marriages go wrong, lack of communication. Miranda was always working, Daniel was always between jobs, Miranda never got to spend time with the kids, and when she did, she had to clean the house that Daniel messed up. That kind of thing.
Miranda, Mrs Doubtfire and the kids meet Stuart at his, I don't know what you would call it, so we'll call it a country club for lack of a better word. The family decides to go to the pool and since it's not easy to swim with a fat suit on, Mrs Doubtfire stays to the bar. Which, for someone reason I find amusing.
Stuart approaches the bar and attains sweet teas for the family, and begins talking to a friend about the 3 kids. He says, even though he didn't want kids in his past, he's pushing 40 and doesn't want to spend the rest of his life alone, and he likes Miranda, and loves the kids. Aw, he's sweet.
So, moving foward, Daniel, this time in his natural setting, as a man, is at his job, in the warehouse section of the production company he worked for at the beginning of the movie, and comes across an empty set, and begins to play with the little dinosaur figurines, except.....the owner of the network walks in on him doing his various voices and skits, but he loves it, and wants to meet with Daniel that Friday to talk business.
Back to life as Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda announced that Stuart has invited her and the kids to dinner, for Miranda's birthday, 7pm at Bridges, except that's the same time and place that Daniel, has his meeting with the owner of the network. and he promises Natalie, the youngest daughter he'll be at dinner with the rest of the family.
What could go wrong here?
The business deal with the owner seems to be going very well. Especially with downing a gallon of scotch, what else makes a party more fun? Except having to change costume every few minutes is probably going to get him caught. Except, Miranda isn't the one to catch on at first, other than the kids of course, It's the owner of the network, who notices he has on women's purfume and forgot to wipe of hte lipstick. But covers it by telling him he had a quicky - with an ex-girlfriend in the bathroom. Not a bad ruse.
So, what does Daniel do this time? Stuart ordered jumbalya, but with no cayan pepper, because he's allergic, Daniel dresses up again as Mrs Doubtfire, sneaks into the closet, gets a chef robe, or whatever you call them, finds the food for table 39, where the family is sitting, and finds the cayan pepper, and well, you can probably figure the rest out for yourself.
We all knew at some point that this whole changing outfits every few minutes was going to get in the way. Daniel approaches the owner of the network again, still dressed as Mrs Doubtfire, which I again, find very amusing. Of course, he tries to cover it by telling him that Mrs. Doubtfire would be a great host for an educational show.
Back to the family, Stuart is now chokeing on the shrimp that was covered in the cayan pepper. By the way, did you ever see his version of Mama Mia that came out a few years ago? It was really good, but everytime he sang, for some reason I pictured this scene, him chokeing on shrimp.
Who should come to his rescue? Why, Mrs Doubtfire of course, she goes to admisinter CPR on Stuart, but in the process the mask begins to peel off. and of course, Miranda is horrified. The older kids, aren't totally susprised, and the youngest daughter is shocked.
It's been three months since the first hearing, and the judge told Daniel at the first hearing that if he got himself together he might consider a joint custody arrangement, I'm guessing the whole dressing up like a woman to spend time with the children isn't going to go over so well.
Miranda gets full custody, the judge didn't understand all he wanted to do was see his children. But, it seems Miranda has a turning point here, she understands what Daniel was trying to do.
In the meantime, Miranda tries to find a new housekeeper, none of which even begin to add up to Mrs Doubtfire. But she do see Mrs Doubtfire got her part on the children's television show. Miranda understands, while laughing with her children how funny Daniel really is. She meets him on the set of his television show to "talk". Miranda annoucnes she doesn't want to hurt the children, they decide through some very sappy dialouge that they're going to work it out. They won't be married, but they'll work it out.
No more supervised visits, no more case workers, just a family, Daniel will take the kids a few hours each day after school until Miranda gets off work.
So, there we go. Mrs. Doubtfire from 1993. Decent little flick, not a masterpiece, but it's decent. Before I give it a rating, I have to say, if my husband dressed up like a woman to spend time with our children, I'd be a little weirded out. Like, to the point I'd never let him see the children again. That's how creeped out I'd be.
But, moving on...a 6/10
Also, I found out that my Dad (who's Netflix account I use) took a lot of DVDs off the queue, so I have no idea what the next movie I wanted to review will be, I sent some more in, but I don't know if he'll decide to knock those off as well. We shall see, I suppose and all in all, it doesn't truly matter, this is exactly the kind of thing the $5 bin at Walmart is for. :)
So; to get this started...
From 1993 - Mrs. Doubtfire. Starring Robin Williams, Sally Field and Pierce Brosnan.
Okay, so let me start off by saying Robin Williams is one of my favorite actors/comedians (except the movie Old Dogs, that sucked and made me fear for humanity a bit). I love Sally Field, especially in Steel Magnoials, but I'm a sucker for a sappy story, even if I do hate them, which probably doesn't make much sense, and I've accepted that. Pierce Brosnan, I can do without, he doesn't bother me, but he's not my favorite.
So, Chris Columbus is director of this movie. That's prboably a good sign, I enjoyed the first two Harry Potter movies (and the rest as well, but I don't believe Columbus directed them, correct me if I'm wrong). The Goonies is a great movie, along with Gremlins. I also found out, upon a quick IMDB search he directed the 2005 version of RENT, which I never saw, but I have seen a play version, and I loved it. He also directed my favorite Julia Roberts movie, "Stepmom". Home Alone 2. Not bad, but the first one was better.
Moving on...
So, the movie starts with Robin Williams at his best. Doing voice impressions. This time he is a bird, and a cat, the cat wants to eat the bird in a Looney Toons style/banter. Seen it, personally, as cool as the Looney Toons are, that style is long been done.
However, the cat, before he eats the bird tries to give the little bird a cigarette, Robin Williams protests, (as he should) by, in the very squeaky bird voice "I don't want to get beak cancer" - "What a foul way for a bird to die" and so on.
Daniel's (Robin Williams) boss rebuttals by telling him "It's not an Oprah Winfrey special, say the line." But Daniel, realizes, and from the looks of it has pulled a stunt like this before "Millions of kids watch this show, it's like sending them all pack of Camel and saying 'light up'".
Daniel quits his job after the issue with his, who I assume to be, boss. It seems like he just couldn't bring himself to promote smoking. Actually, I am fully aware it is only a movie, but I applaud him.
Daniel goes to pick his three kids up from school (the youngest being Mara Wilson, and Matilda is my guilty pleasure movie.) It also turns out to be the son's 12th birthday. Daniel gets his son a petting zoo for this birthday, in the front yard. Yep, that's what I wanted on my 12th birthday too. Mom (Sally Field) told the son he wasn't allowed to have a birthday party because of his grades, and yet Daniel rebuttles with "Mom isn't going to be home for another four hours, is she?" Yeah, that's great parenting.
However, Daniel's family must have, like every family movie, the annoying neighbor, the lady gets tired of the animals eating her plants, and calls the authorites. AKA Miranda Hillard, AKA Daniel's wife, AKA Sally Field.
We come into Miranda's work, as an interior designer. She is in a meeting, but Martin Mull interups, (ya know, I've really only liked that man in 2 roles, as the principal from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and as Roseanne's boss, from Roseanne, other than that, I don't find him that appealing). Anyway, Martin Mull (who's name has not been mentioned yet) mention to Miranda that Stuart Dunnmeyer has called. She reacts the way every woman does, when they hear the name of the man they adore. That is, when they're in high school. Miranda is a grown woman. It sickness me.
Miranda comes home, after talking to her neighbor, a literal zoo, on her property. It's illegal to hold banyard nature animals in a residental area, WHO KNEW? She also finds Daniel and her son dancing to rap music on a table, that probably doesn't help the cause. Daniel and Miranda begin arguing, and the kids watch/listen from the top of the stairs. That's gotta be a Happy Birthday killer.
and....big shocker, Miranda wants a divorce, yep, didn't see that coming when he brought home the zoo.
Daniel goes over to this friend's house. One who is on the phone with his mother (and has a very annoying voice) and then other, who makes costume masks. That's handy.
The court grants custody of the children to Miranda, considering the fact that Daniel has no job and no place to live, (he's crashing on the friend's couch). I don't blame the court. He's allowed to see them every Saturday.
Enter Stuart Dunnmeyer, and Miranda Hillard who has whipped cream on the top of her lip. Yeah, that's not embarassing.
Miranda is trying to show off her sketches, of a house that Stuart wants to refinish, but all Stuart wants to do is flirt. Miranda agrees to meet with him later in the week, to "talk".
It's Saturday night, Daniel's time with the three children, and Miranda was an hour late dropping them off, and is now an hour early picking them up, Needless to say, Daniel doesn't like that.
Miranda and he begin talking, Miranda is taking out a personal ad, to try and gain a housekeeper.
Daniel borrows the personal to take a look at it, using the "I have a right to know who is going to be with my children". The idea is churning in his mind, he changes one of the digits of the number Miranda wrote down. Daniel begins calling Miranda using his fake voices, and claming to be people looking for the job, he comes up with the craziest people he can. Then, later, he comes up with Mrs. Doubtfire. A very charming English woman, does anyone see the flaw in his plan? Daniel is not English nor a woman.
What's the best thing do it in this circumstance? Get his friends who make masks to turn him into a woman.
Mrs Doubtfire meets the family. Miranda is mezmerized by Mrs. Doubtfire, and I'm not going to lie, it's a little creepy. After Mrs, Doubtfire meets the children, who all, but the oldest, Lydia, seem to like her, Miranda offers Mrs Doubtfire a cup of tea. Yep, that's not cliche offering the English woman a cup of tea.
Miranda: You remind me of someone.
Me: REALLY?! I WONDER WHO?!?!?!
So, Daniel/Mrs Doubtfire got the job. Because noone saw that coming, right?
On the way home, he bumps into his case worker, and pretends to be, since he is still the costume, Daniel's sister, yeah....nothing can go wrong here, right? and two Asian children see him in the middle of changing back into Mrs Doubtfire. Sadly, he drops his mask out the window, and decides he needs to go get it. and cracks a Norman Bates joke. and the mask gets squished by a semitruck driving down the road, that's convienent, isn't it?
What does one decide to do in the circumstance of having company who is expecting a woman, but having no face? Cover your face in meriange. That usually does the trick.
Mrs Doubtfire, with a new mask catches herself on fire while trying to cook dinner, which went about as well as one could expect, in case you wondering, beating yourself with a spaulta is not the way to put out a fire.
Stuart and Miranda are now dating, and least I would assume...from the goodnight kiss he gave her. Daniel decides to retaliate by breaking off the emblem of his car.
As a person who loves cars, I have to say I almost cried.
At some point in every person's life they are going to have to go to the bathroom. However, most women don't get walked in on by their kids, as they pee, standing up. But, it's still a classic scene. One of my favorite, does that make me odd?
So, the two older kids figure it out, they can't tell the youngest one due to the fact she'll spill to Miranda.
Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.
I doubt this movie will kill off the two oldest children, so I have a feeling it's not going to end the way Daniel wanted it. Mrs. Doubtfire and Miranda begin to have a conversation about Daniel, and how the marriage went wrong, it went wrong the way most marriages go wrong, lack of communication. Miranda was always working, Daniel was always between jobs, Miranda never got to spend time with the kids, and when she did, she had to clean the house that Daniel messed up. That kind of thing.
Miranda, Mrs Doubtfire and the kids meet Stuart at his, I don't know what you would call it, so we'll call it a country club for lack of a better word. The family decides to go to the pool and since it's not easy to swim with a fat suit on, Mrs Doubtfire stays to the bar. Which, for someone reason I find amusing.
Stuart approaches the bar and attains sweet teas for the family, and begins talking to a friend about the 3 kids. He says, even though he didn't want kids in his past, he's pushing 40 and doesn't want to spend the rest of his life alone, and he likes Miranda, and loves the kids. Aw, he's sweet.
So, moving foward, Daniel, this time in his natural setting, as a man, is at his job, in the warehouse section of the production company he worked for at the beginning of the movie, and comes across an empty set, and begins to play with the little dinosaur figurines, except.....the owner of the network walks in on him doing his various voices and skits, but he loves it, and wants to meet with Daniel that Friday to talk business.
Back to life as Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda announced that Stuart has invited her and the kids to dinner, for Miranda's birthday, 7pm at Bridges, except that's the same time and place that Daniel, has his meeting with the owner of the network. and he promises Natalie, the youngest daughter he'll be at dinner with the rest of the family.
What could go wrong here?
The business deal with the owner seems to be going very well. Especially with downing a gallon of scotch, what else makes a party more fun? Except having to change costume every few minutes is probably going to get him caught. Except, Miranda isn't the one to catch on at first, other than the kids of course, It's the owner of the network, who notices he has on women's purfume and forgot to wipe of hte lipstick. But covers it by telling him he had a quicky - with an ex-girlfriend in the bathroom. Not a bad ruse.
So, what does Daniel do this time? Stuart ordered jumbalya, but with no cayan pepper, because he's allergic, Daniel dresses up again as Mrs Doubtfire, sneaks into the closet, gets a chef robe, or whatever you call them, finds the food for table 39, where the family is sitting, and finds the cayan pepper, and well, you can probably figure the rest out for yourself.
We all knew at some point that this whole changing outfits every few minutes was going to get in the way. Daniel approaches the owner of the network again, still dressed as Mrs Doubtfire, which I again, find very amusing. Of course, he tries to cover it by telling him that Mrs. Doubtfire would be a great host for an educational show.
Back to the family, Stuart is now chokeing on the shrimp that was covered in the cayan pepper. By the way, did you ever see his version of Mama Mia that came out a few years ago? It was really good, but everytime he sang, for some reason I pictured this scene, him chokeing on shrimp.
Who should come to his rescue? Why, Mrs Doubtfire of course, she goes to admisinter CPR on Stuart, but in the process the mask begins to peel off. and of course, Miranda is horrified. The older kids, aren't totally susprised, and the youngest daughter is shocked.
It's been three months since the first hearing, and the judge told Daniel at the first hearing that if he got himself together he might consider a joint custody arrangement, I'm guessing the whole dressing up like a woman to spend time with the children isn't going to go over so well.
Miranda gets full custody, the judge didn't understand all he wanted to do was see his children. But, it seems Miranda has a turning point here, she understands what Daniel was trying to do.
In the meantime, Miranda tries to find a new housekeeper, none of which even begin to add up to Mrs Doubtfire. But she do see Mrs Doubtfire got her part on the children's television show. Miranda understands, while laughing with her children how funny Daniel really is. She meets him on the set of his television show to "talk". Miranda annoucnes she doesn't want to hurt the children, they decide through some very sappy dialouge that they're going to work it out. They won't be married, but they'll work it out.
No more supervised visits, no more case workers, just a family, Daniel will take the kids a few hours each day after school until Miranda gets off work.
So, there we go. Mrs. Doubtfire from 1993. Decent little flick, not a masterpiece, but it's decent. Before I give it a rating, I have to say, if my husband dressed up like a woman to spend time with our children, I'd be a little weirded out. Like, to the point I'd never let him see the children again. That's how creeped out I'd be.
But, moving on...a 6/10
Friday, December 9, 2011
Mallrats(1995)
So, I chose this movie for no other reason than it was the first movie on my list of movies I want to review that I did not have to wait on the disk for (I've got like 20 waiting...yep, I'm that cool).
Now, I'm going to start off by saying, I have never seen this movie, and until a few days ago, did not even know it existed.
Without further ado...
So, first off....this movie starts off with a voice that says "So, my cousin Walt once got a cat stuck up his ass." Okay, I'm a little weirded out, and we're only 1 minute 17 seconds into the movie.
Okay, Stan Lee is in the movie. It can't be that bad. Oh, how I love Stan Lee. Sidenote: if I ever get to meet Stan Lee, I'm going to take Doctor Sheldon Cooper's advice and get him to sign a Batman comic. Just to be ironic.
So, now we're 5 minutes 34 minutes into the movie and find out a girl has died because she did 700 laps in the pool at the local YMCA and had an anurism(sp?) because a guy called her fat. Julie (the girl that died) was supposed to go on Brandy's father's gameshow, but obviously...a corpse on a gameshow might kill the mood, so Brandy offers to go on the show to offer solace to her father, except Brandy was supposed to go to Flordia with her boyfriend, T.S
Drama, drama, drama.
and seven minutes and fourteen seconds into the movie T.S and Brandy break up. Yep, didn't see that coming.
After the break up scene between T.S and Brandy we meet Rene and her boyfriend Brodie, Rene is unfulfilled in life, and what's something more, to make a difference, like the doctors curing illness, and so forth, while sneaking out of Brodie's house, (because Brodie still lives with his mother; and his mother doesn't like Rene very much) she throws a letter at him, it's a breakup letter.
Yeah, breaking up with someone via letter is okay in the 2nd grade. Not in your 20s.
The two boys get together and discuss their problems in their love lives, or now..lack there of.
So where do the boys decide the best place to go is? The mall. Yeah, the mall is totally where I go when I'm depressed *rolls eyes* I hate the mall, with a passion. Brodie, runs into a (very young and attractive) Ben Affleck, that doesn't really matter towards the movie, I just think it's funny. Ben Affleck runs a clothing store, that Brodie says is pretentious.
While at the mall, TS and Brodie find another friend, Dylan who is trying to find the hidden picture within a picture, but Dylan tells them that the stage TS and Dylan are curious about stage in the middle of the mall, which turns out; is a game called "Truth or Date" a game show Brandy's Dad runs.
TS and Brodie go looking for Jay and Silent Bob for help of destroying the game show.
Brodie runs into Rene at the mall, tries to win her back, and yet gets the response "Piss off".
Back to Jay and Silent Bob, they're genious idea to take out the mall security is Silent Bob running at the guard with a sock full of quarters. Only; a child understands what is going on, and shoves a toy truck in his way. Yep, way to go Jay and Silent Bob.
Stan Lee is signing comics, in the comic book store. TS and Brodie's dream.
Silent Bob takes to the stage to remove the pin, only misses. Of course, ya know, if I used a rope and a makeshift Batman costume, I totally think I'd make it.
Back to Brodie and Rene, Rene is now with Ben Affleck's character (who's name has not came up yet). TS goes for answers, because Brodie and Ben Affleck hate each other, more than toothpaste and orange juice. Ben Affleck admits that he's dating Rene. While TS distracts Ben Affleck, Brodie pulls Rene into the the elevator. Rene and Brodie start discussing, more like yelling about their relationship, and end up having sex, in the elevator.
"That was romantic, right?" Brodie asks. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sidenote to this movie: Gwen, TS and Brodie's friend has an annoying voice, but that doesn't really
matter.
If this movie were to have a villan, it would be Brandy's father. He admits he is responsbile for Brandy's and TS's breakup.
and now Ben Affleck is kicking Brodie's butt. It comes out that Ben Affleck is only dating Rene, because she's on the rebound, because the sex is better, but he tells Jay and Silent Bob that it was the man in the easter bunny suit sitting at the station in the mall. What do Jay and Silent Bob do? They go beat up the Easter Bunny.
Another sidenote: So far, this movie sucks.
Brandy's dad has TS and Brodie forcibly removed by mall security, for good.
Rene hears screams of her name and runs away from Ben Affleck, to find Jay and Silent Bob (and Dylan still trying to figure out the picture within the picture), Jay and Silent Bob find the boys and after bashing a mall cop's head with a bat, make a run for it.
Don't worry, he's still alive just knocked out. Okay, not even knocked out, he gets right back up.
That's one problem with the movie, no one would have gotten right back up after being hit in the head with a metal baseball bat. Jay and Silent Bob make it out by using a grappling hook that Silent Bob has, why he has a grappling hook? BECAUSE HE'S SILENT BOB!
The boys go to a psychic, to find out what to do. A topless psychic. Go figure. A topless psychic with 3 nipples. WTF.
Okay, that was pretty ingenius, it was peperroni made to look like a 3rd nipple. Seriously, that's pretty smart.
Stan Lee meets Brodie outside a lingere store. Why does that not susprise me? As cool as Stan Lee is. They begin talking about love. Yeah, that's totally when I'd discuss with Stan Lee if I could ever meet him.
Jay and Silent Bob meet the two male contestents and try and freak them out, so that TS and Brodie can get on the game show hosted by Brandy's dad; so that TS can get back with Brandy. Jay also gives the two men some weed. If nothing else, they'll get arrested. TS, it turned out paid Stan Lee to talk to Brodie, he's a good friend, :)
Brandy's dead finally gets sick due to some rotten good given to him by Brodie. He refuses to stop working, what could possibly go wrong here? Jay bets up more cops, Silent Bob however is wiring something to the top of the rafters for TS, which another friend goes to get a tap of some sort from Brodie's house.
We're now to the game show. Brandy is asking each of them questions, like on every game show. Brodie is giving the third guy a hard time, the other friend finally delivers the tape; now, onto the tape. Jay throws it to Silent Bob, who misses the catch and it falls between the rafters.
Brandy figures out it's TS and Brodie pretty easily.
But Brodie gets annoyed and Brandy and tells TS to propse to Brandy like was intended, at the beginning of the movie, before she broke up with him. He does, and the answer is, of course, like every other cheesy 90s movie, a yes.
and even with only 11 minutes in the film, Dylan still can't see the sailboat.
Brodie gets up on the stage and tries to win Rene back, telling him "You have my heart." Ah, yay for cheesy lines. Silent Bob finally gets the tape. On the tape is Ben Affleck having sex with the friend, who went to get the tape.
and...Brodie ends back up with Rene.
All's well that ends well.
I give the movie a 3/10.
Now, I'm going to start off by saying, I have never seen this movie, and until a few days ago, did not even know it existed.
Without further ado...
So, first off....this movie starts off with a voice that says "So, my cousin Walt once got a cat stuck up his ass." Okay, I'm a little weirded out, and we're only 1 minute 17 seconds into the movie.
Okay, Stan Lee is in the movie. It can't be that bad. Oh, how I love Stan Lee. Sidenote: if I ever get to meet Stan Lee, I'm going to take Doctor Sheldon Cooper's advice and get him to sign a Batman comic. Just to be ironic.
So, now we're 5 minutes 34 minutes into the movie and find out a girl has died because she did 700 laps in the pool at the local YMCA and had an anurism(sp?) because a guy called her fat. Julie (the girl that died) was supposed to go on Brandy's father's gameshow, but obviously...a corpse on a gameshow might kill the mood, so Brandy offers to go on the show to offer solace to her father, except Brandy was supposed to go to Flordia with her boyfriend, T.S
Drama, drama, drama.
and seven minutes and fourteen seconds into the movie T.S and Brandy break up. Yep, didn't see that coming.
After the break up scene between T.S and Brandy we meet Rene and her boyfriend Brodie, Rene is unfulfilled in life, and what's something more, to make a difference, like the doctors curing illness, and so forth, while sneaking out of Brodie's house, (because Brodie still lives with his mother; and his mother doesn't like Rene very much) she throws a letter at him, it's a breakup letter.
Yeah, breaking up with someone via letter is okay in the 2nd grade. Not in your 20s.
The two boys get together and discuss their problems in their love lives, or now..lack there of.
So where do the boys decide the best place to go is? The mall. Yeah, the mall is totally where I go when I'm depressed *rolls eyes* I hate the mall, with a passion. Brodie, runs into a (very young and attractive) Ben Affleck, that doesn't really matter towards the movie, I just think it's funny. Ben Affleck runs a clothing store, that Brodie says is pretentious.
While at the mall, TS and Brodie find another friend, Dylan who is trying to find the hidden picture within a picture, but Dylan tells them that the stage TS and Dylan are curious about stage in the middle of the mall, which turns out; is a game called "Truth or Date" a game show Brandy's Dad runs.
TS and Brodie go looking for Jay and Silent Bob for help of destroying the game show.
Brodie runs into Rene at the mall, tries to win her back, and yet gets the response "Piss off".
Back to Jay and Silent Bob, they're genious idea to take out the mall security is Silent Bob running at the guard with a sock full of quarters. Only; a child understands what is going on, and shoves a toy truck in his way. Yep, way to go Jay and Silent Bob.
Stan Lee is signing comics, in the comic book store. TS and Brodie's dream.
Silent Bob takes to the stage to remove the pin, only misses. Of course, ya know, if I used a rope and a makeshift Batman costume, I totally think I'd make it.
Back to Brodie and Rene, Rene is now with Ben Affleck's character (who's name has not came up yet). TS goes for answers, because Brodie and Ben Affleck hate each other, more than toothpaste and orange juice. Ben Affleck admits that he's dating Rene. While TS distracts Ben Affleck, Brodie pulls Rene into the the elevator. Rene and Brodie start discussing, more like yelling about their relationship, and end up having sex, in the elevator.
"That was romantic, right?" Brodie asks. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sidenote to this movie: Gwen, TS and Brodie's friend has an annoying voice, but that doesn't really
matter.
If this movie were to have a villan, it would be Brandy's father. He admits he is responsbile for Brandy's and TS's breakup.
and now Ben Affleck is kicking Brodie's butt. It comes out that Ben Affleck is only dating Rene, because she's on the rebound, because the sex is better, but he tells Jay and Silent Bob that it was the man in the easter bunny suit sitting at the station in the mall. What do Jay and Silent Bob do? They go beat up the Easter Bunny.
Another sidenote: So far, this movie sucks.
Brandy's dad has TS and Brodie forcibly removed by mall security, for good.
Rene hears screams of her name and runs away from Ben Affleck, to find Jay and Silent Bob (and Dylan still trying to figure out the picture within the picture), Jay and Silent Bob find the boys and after bashing a mall cop's head with a bat, make a run for it.
Don't worry, he's still alive just knocked out. Okay, not even knocked out, he gets right back up.
That's one problem with the movie, no one would have gotten right back up after being hit in the head with a metal baseball bat. Jay and Silent Bob make it out by using a grappling hook that Silent Bob has, why he has a grappling hook? BECAUSE HE'S SILENT BOB!
The boys go to a psychic, to find out what to do. A topless psychic. Go figure. A topless psychic with 3 nipples. WTF.
Okay, that was pretty ingenius, it was peperroni made to look like a 3rd nipple. Seriously, that's pretty smart.
Stan Lee meets Brodie outside a lingere store. Why does that not susprise me? As cool as Stan Lee is. They begin talking about love. Yeah, that's totally when I'd discuss with Stan Lee if I could ever meet him.
Jay and Silent Bob meet the two male contestents and try and freak them out, so that TS and Brodie can get on the game show hosted by Brandy's dad; so that TS can get back with Brandy. Jay also gives the two men some weed. If nothing else, they'll get arrested. TS, it turned out paid Stan Lee to talk to Brodie, he's a good friend, :)
Brandy's dead finally gets sick due to some rotten good given to him by Brodie. He refuses to stop working, what could possibly go wrong here? Jay bets up more cops, Silent Bob however is wiring something to the top of the rafters for TS, which another friend goes to get a tap of some sort from Brodie's house.
We're now to the game show. Brandy is asking each of them questions, like on every game show. Brodie is giving the third guy a hard time, the other friend finally delivers the tape; now, onto the tape. Jay throws it to Silent Bob, who misses the catch and it falls between the rafters.
Brandy figures out it's TS and Brodie pretty easily.
But Brodie gets annoyed and Brandy and tells TS to propse to Brandy like was intended, at the beginning of the movie, before she broke up with him. He does, and the answer is, of course, like every other cheesy 90s movie, a yes.
and even with only 11 minutes in the film, Dylan still can't see the sailboat.
Brodie gets up on the stage and tries to win Rene back, telling him "You have my heart." Ah, yay for cheesy lines. Silent Bob finally gets the tape. On the tape is Ben Affleck having sex with the friend, who went to get the tape.
and...Brodie ends back up with Rene.
All's well that ends well.
I give the movie a 3/10.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Net (1995)
Okay, so first off...before I get on with the review, I love Sandra Bullock, (in everything in Speed 2, because come on, that movie sucked haha) and Hope Floats. (terrible movie, but I watch it everytime it's on television, because there's not really anything hotter than Harry Connick Jr as a cowboy, okay....Harry Connick Jr as my husband would be nice).
and...my review will actually be pretty good tonight because noone was on the television when I decided to watch/review a movie, so I can write WHILE I watch, instead of watching, then reviewing and trying to rembmer everything. :).
So, here we go.
A review of 1995's "The Net".
Start off...creepy music. Always a good sign, considering it's a thriller.
We start with, what I seem to remember...the secretary of defense (don't quote me on that, and I'll correct myself later if it comes out later). Having a very ambigious phone call with an unknown caller.
"So this is reality" is his last words to that ambigious caller.
He then bribes his son to do his homework by granting him extra time on the Nintendo/Sega, (aw, remember those days?) tells his wife he loves her, and shoots himself in the mouth.
Good start to a thriller.
Enter Sandra Bullock, a computer security person, who starts by de-bugging a friend's videogame. (and saves it to a floppy disk. Bwhaha, I think I've used one my entire life).
Angela, (Sandra Bullock) later starts chatting online with CyberBob, who asks her out on a date, which she declines (smart woman).
Angela visits her mother in a nursing home; who seems to have demetia of some sort, they begin to play Shopan on the piano, even though her mother has no idea who she is (sad, really.)
A few moments later another virus comes via fedex from Angela's friend Dale; called "Mozart's Ghost". (Dale is played by Ray McKinnon, great actor, really).
Inside Mozart's Ghost is a horrible virus. Dale has come across something he shouldn't have. Dale knows it probably involves the government; and doesn't want to discuss the virus with Angela over the phone, (for obvious reasons). If Angela clicks "concert details" on the Mozart's Ghost page, it directs her to a "not so safe website" that Dale intended to be ticketmaster, or something of the sort, but instead take him to the homepage to (insert city that Angela lives in___electric), there is a small pi symbol at the bottom; click it; press ctrl+shift, and all hell breaks loose on her computer. She thinks its a small virus, Dale knows different. On the way to see her via his own personal plane; his instruments screw up. Only, here's the kicker; they look normal to him; so he thinks he's taking the correct path. Central control knows different and tells him to turn around. But not before he takes a head on crash with several buildings.
Angela, ready to admit Dale found something he shouldn't have?
Dale's boss (i'm assuming...it never says). Asks Angela if she would like Dale's old position. Not knowing she is unaware that he passed away (what a way to hear a friend died).
Flights are now going haywire...just when Angela is going on vacation for the first time in 6 years.
There is a very creepy looking guy (btw; the man who shot himself in the beginning, is(was) the secretary of defense). looking out among the people. My thought is; this is probably the computer hacker, maybe? and yet....I don't know. It could be but then again, we are reviewing a thriller.
Angela meets a cute guy at the beach in Mexico, come to find out; he also does work with computers. His name is Devlin, Jack Devlin. (sorry; couldn't resist. he is played by Jeremy Northam).
At the bar, thre is another ambigious man; different from the one at the airport. Hmmmmm.
Jack and Angela go for a ride on Jack's company speed boat (I REALLY want his job) and go get a bite to eat at an unnamed sandbar. (Pretty place, I would love to see Mexico's beaches, but sadly...I am a broke college kid).
Angela's purse is stolen by the ambigous man at the bar; Jack quickly runs off while Angela protests "It's not that important". Jack and man from the bar have a quick coversation about it "not being here." My guess, they were looking for Mozart's Ghost disc, which is not with her (she's not that stupid). Jack shoots the man from the bar with a silenced pistol, instead of paying him the money he was going to.... and stages a few wounds on himself to make it look as if he were in a fight. (for a criminal; he's a smart guy).
New clip in the silenced pistol; miles from shore. This probably isn't a good thing for Angela. Yet; she is the main character...chances of her dying (and I'm not just saying this because I've seen this movie more than a few times) are slim to none. Our director, Irwin Winkler would be stupid to kill her off. (He's also directed: Home of the Brave, De-Lonely, Life as a House, At First Sight, Night and the City, Guilty by Suspicion and produced many more, I'm not going to name them all).
It shows nothing (if you're worried about showing this film to kids) but Jack and Angela have intercourse, and it comes out that Angela had an affair with her former shrink, but it didn't last long, but it was her last relationship, in many years; since 1936 as she puts it.
Jack turns out to be CyberBob.....a twist I always forget happens. Angela finds the the silenced pistol he accidently left on the couch of the speedboat, and is smart enough to quietly take out the clip, Jack/CyberBob goes to shoot her "to make the world safe for democracy". and obviously, you can't shoot a gun without bullets, so it fails. They wrestle for a moment, Angela burns his face with a cigerate he had a moment ago and escapes while Jack is writhing in pain.
That being said; what criminal forgets his gun? Wow, that lost major points in the final review of the movie.
Wine bottle to face as a tatic to escape, always a classic. Angela decides to try and use the radio to get some help from the man trying to killer her...but Jack disabled it. You're on a boat. SWIM! But if she did that, we wouldn't have a movie. She does however, go snooping around for something to defend herself and finds a floppy disc with a label that cant be read to the audiance, pockets it and escapes on a smaller motorized boat used as a lifeboat, Jack jumps in to try and kill her, but is thrown off the boat when the motor starts. The boat Angela is on hits rocks, pops, and she wakes up in a hospital 3 days later.
Computer errors are now effecting Wall Street.
Angela goes to check out of the hotel after being discharged from the hospital. Come to find out; Angela Bennent checked out of the hotel a week ago. Maybe she doesn't remember, maybe it's computer error.
She then goes to a payphone to check her bank account. Her mastercard no longer works, a woman approaches her about the temporary Visa she applied for in order to get back into the states, but she is no logner Angela Bennent, she is now Ruth Marx, according to California's department of motor vechicles.
Stolen identies are always fun, aren't they?
Angela Bennet also sold her house; from LA, while "Ruth Marx" is in Mexico, pretty smart criminals.
The police come to the scene and run the name Ruth Marx, only to find that Jack forged fake crimes to her record. Angels runs, like anyone would. Jack, who is obviouly back in the States as well; goes after her himself telling the police he hasn't seen anyone.
The fact she's smart makes up for the fact he's was an idiot on the boat. Points won back.
Angela calls, what I assume to the police, she is transferred to a woman named Angela Bennent; and the fake Angela tells the real Angela to "give us the disk and we'll give you your life back", except the real Angela doesn't know that what they want is the Mozart's Ghost disc, at least not yet.
Angela finds console in her friend Allan (played by Dennis Miller). who gets her a laptop from his house and then takes her to a motel in order to figure things out. Allan has always been my favorite character in this movie. Come to find out, Allan is her former shrink, ya know? The dude she had the affair with? Least it was someone she could trust, his paitent records are confidential, and since this is 90s, chances are not many of the files are online yet. Angela asks Allan to take her mother to a sanitarium under a different name under the ruse that she needs observation, Angela isn't sure what Jack and the few other people trying to kill will do in order to get to her.
When Angela was in the hosptial she found on her person a small business card with numnbers written on the back, it is a passowrd to a hosptial website revealing that the secretary of defense, did not in fact have AIDS, but the password only works after Angela does the familiar crtl+shift thing after clicking the small pi symbol at the bottom of the page. The news realeased earlier in the movie that the secretarty of defense killed himself because he had AIDS and could no longer deal with it.
Angela goes back to CyberBob, only this time CyberBob is not Jack, chances are it never was, Jack was only watching....smart man. The pi symbol is the symbol of a very dangerous cberterriorist group. "They want to take the big house down" says CyberBob, they agree to meet at a public place.
Allan's friend Ben wants to meet Angela and discuss her idenitiy situation, but Angela chooses to meet CyberBob instead. Jack finds CyberBob instead.
Jack is a smart criminal, but of course, you have to be smart to be a cyber-terriorist.
Allan is poisoned by pills he took a moment ago, he's allergic to penillcin, and yet, somehow got prescribed it. But he does live. Good, I like Allan. Angela leaves the hospital to meet CyberBob, they decide to meet a fair, there's for sure enough people, but I don't know if they ever thought fairs like this usually don't have much security. Loosin points for pickin this place.
Switcing back to Allan, who is currently sleeping in the hospital. The nurse switches out his IV's like a routine, but they don't show the nurse's face, making it seem to me like something is up.
Jack finds Angela at the fair and tries to take her hostage. Only to be thwarted by a man in a bunny suit who wants a hug from him. Angela is able to escape. The bunny was a little cheesy, but cool. Points won back.
Angela goes back to the hospital, not knowing where else to go other than to Allan, come to find out, there was something up. Allan was poisioned, this time he doesn't survive.
Points lost for killing my favorite character. Okay, not really; but it still sucks.
Angela is now right where the cyberterriorts want her. Alone. Scared. Hopeless. Lost.
Angela is phoned by Jack on the car phone (is it weird I've always wanted one?). Jack tells Angela that they're a lot alike. Except ya know, the part about Angela not being a criminal?
Jack goes to where Angela's mother is, only to find out that she was moved by Allan. Jack, our of spite does some more hacking and reports Angela's car as stolen, police pick up on it, Angela does what anybody would do in that situation. Runs. Points for being realistic. Only to drive off into a field, car wrecked, but Angela is unharmed and decides to run. Well, unharmed except for a gash to the head, but that seems to be the last thing on her mind. The police finally catch her, arrest her, all that jazz and the name Ruth Marx still pops up.
Angela explains to a public defender her story, which is not believed. (played by L. Scott Caldwell). But the PD tells her the computers have been protected by a program called "Gate Keeper", Angela now realizes it's the program that has the fault. Fixing faults in programs in her speciality. If only she can get someone to believe her.
So what's her next move? Calling her mother from a jail phone. I suppose, even if she has dementia, sometimes a mother's arms are the best place to be. Angela asks her mother to tell the PD that she is who she claims to be. Only, her mother is unable to do that because of the dementia.
Ben (Allan's friend, played by Robert Gosset) comes in and does believe the story. Sidenote: if anyone reading this watches the TNT show The Closer, Robert Gosset is amazing in the role of Captain Taylor. :)
Except, Robert Gosset isn't Ben. He works with Jack. Trying to get the disc, Angela knows because "Ben" mentions how it was ruined in Mexico, which is true, but the only person she told was Allan, who literally "took the secret to the grave". Angela drives "Ben's" car off the road, killing him.
Jack chases down Angela in his car, but Angela comes to a folding bridge, (the ones that allow boats to go under, ya know?) while it is in the process of folding up, Angela jumps down onto the lower platform, but Jack knows if he tries to do that in his car, he's as good as dead, and that's no good. Angela escapes again.
Once Angela sees her name on the televison (well, "Ruth Marx"), she runs again. Being as carful as she can not to stay in one place for a prolonged period of time.
Angela sneaks into a computer software company, where she used to work and finds the woman posing as her. Sets off the fire alarm from a computer to evacuate the building so she can do what needs to do.
Points for creativity.
She gets access to the program, but in order to delete the "Ruth Marx" file, she needs mainframe access. The fire department is on the way, she has a matter of minutes, I take that back, a matter of seconds.
However, Angela is quick, she gets what she needs.
Points for quickness.
Jeff Gregg came up with the program, Jeff was going against the title of secretary of defense, what better way to win than to take out the target, by a fake positive-AIDS test, to a homophobe? Dale gave him the virus that Angela sent to Dale. Angela attaches it to "Angela's" computer and makes a break for it. Except she forgot to exit out of what she was looking at.
Points lost for being careless.
Jack spots Angela outside of the computer software company and begins to hurt her down. With thirteen minutes left in the movie, he needs to step it up.
Angela hides out in the one place she feels comfortable. A computer convention. Angela uses a computer at the convention to send files of evidence that Jeff Gregg was behind everything to the authorites. Proof that Dale and the security of defense's murders were orcatrated by Jeff Gregg, Angela plants a virus into the computer before Jack finds her, and once Jack hits the escape key in order to wipe out, what he thinks his her files, the virus eats through Jeff's program faster than a speeding bullet. Jeff shoots Angela, only to shoot the woman pretending to be her, not the real Angela.
The files were still sent to the FBI and Angela still has the disk that they're on.
Points for creativity, quick thinking, and just being all around smart.
However, now it is just Jack and the real Angela, alone on what looks like a Catwalk. With seven minutes left in the film, one of them need to step their game up.
Jack still has pistol, Angela has nothing. Should be intresting. Except a fire extingusher to Jack's head, knocking him off the catwalk and dead on a platform on contact.
Angela has her life back. and with five minutes to spare.
At the end she meets with her mother (who I forgot to mention is played by Diane Baker).
Nice ending.
So, in a nutshell that's our movie. I personally love it, it's probably one of my favorite thrillers from the 90s.
I give it a 8.7/10
and...my review will actually be pretty good tonight because noone was on the television when I decided to watch/review a movie, so I can write WHILE I watch, instead of watching, then reviewing and trying to rembmer everything. :).
So, here we go.
A review of 1995's "The Net".
Start off...creepy music. Always a good sign, considering it's a thriller.
We start with, what I seem to remember...the secretary of defense (don't quote me on that, and I'll correct myself later if it comes out later). Having a very ambigious phone call with an unknown caller.
"So this is reality" is his last words to that ambigious caller.
He then bribes his son to do his homework by granting him extra time on the Nintendo/Sega, (aw, remember those days?) tells his wife he loves her, and shoots himself in the mouth.
Good start to a thriller.
Enter Sandra Bullock, a computer security person, who starts by de-bugging a friend's videogame. (and saves it to a floppy disk. Bwhaha, I think I've used one my entire life).
Angela, (Sandra Bullock) later starts chatting online with CyberBob, who asks her out on a date, which she declines (smart woman).
Angela visits her mother in a nursing home; who seems to have demetia of some sort, they begin to play Shopan on the piano, even though her mother has no idea who she is (sad, really.)
A few moments later another virus comes via fedex from Angela's friend Dale; called "Mozart's Ghost". (Dale is played by Ray McKinnon, great actor, really).
Inside Mozart's Ghost is a horrible virus. Dale has come across something he shouldn't have. Dale knows it probably involves the government; and doesn't want to discuss the virus with Angela over the phone, (for obvious reasons). If Angela clicks "concert details" on the Mozart's Ghost page, it directs her to a "not so safe website" that Dale intended to be ticketmaster, or something of the sort, but instead take him to the homepage to (insert city that Angela lives in___electric), there is a small pi symbol at the bottom; click it; press ctrl+shift, and all hell breaks loose on her computer. She thinks its a small virus, Dale knows different. On the way to see her via his own personal plane; his instruments screw up. Only, here's the kicker; they look normal to him; so he thinks he's taking the correct path. Central control knows different and tells him to turn around. But not before he takes a head on crash with several buildings.
Angela, ready to admit Dale found something he shouldn't have?
Dale's boss (i'm assuming...it never says). Asks Angela if she would like Dale's old position. Not knowing she is unaware that he passed away (what a way to hear a friend died).
Flights are now going haywire...just when Angela is going on vacation for the first time in 6 years.
There is a very creepy looking guy (btw; the man who shot himself in the beginning, is(was) the secretary of defense). looking out among the people. My thought is; this is probably the computer hacker, maybe? and yet....I don't know. It could be but then again, we are reviewing a thriller.
Angela meets a cute guy at the beach in Mexico, come to find out; he also does work with computers. His name is Devlin, Jack Devlin. (sorry; couldn't resist. he is played by Jeremy Northam).
At the bar, thre is another ambigious man; different from the one at the airport. Hmmmmm.
Jack and Angela go for a ride on Jack's company speed boat (I REALLY want his job) and go get a bite to eat at an unnamed sandbar. (Pretty place, I would love to see Mexico's beaches, but sadly...I am a broke college kid).
Angela's purse is stolen by the ambigous man at the bar; Jack quickly runs off while Angela protests "It's not that important". Jack and man from the bar have a quick coversation about it "not being here." My guess, they were looking for Mozart's Ghost disc, which is not with her (she's not that stupid). Jack shoots the man from the bar with a silenced pistol, instead of paying him the money he was going to.... and stages a few wounds on himself to make it look as if he were in a fight. (for a criminal; he's a smart guy).
New clip in the silenced pistol; miles from shore. This probably isn't a good thing for Angela. Yet; she is the main character...chances of her dying (and I'm not just saying this because I've seen this movie more than a few times) are slim to none. Our director, Irwin Winkler would be stupid to kill her off. (He's also directed: Home of the Brave, De-Lonely, Life as a House, At First Sight, Night and the City, Guilty by Suspicion and produced many more, I'm not going to name them all).
It shows nothing (if you're worried about showing this film to kids) but Jack and Angela have intercourse, and it comes out that Angela had an affair with her former shrink, but it didn't last long, but it was her last relationship, in many years; since 1936 as she puts it.
Jack turns out to be CyberBob.....a twist I always forget happens. Angela finds the the silenced pistol he accidently left on the couch of the speedboat, and is smart enough to quietly take out the clip, Jack/CyberBob goes to shoot her "to make the world safe for democracy". and obviously, you can't shoot a gun without bullets, so it fails. They wrestle for a moment, Angela burns his face with a cigerate he had a moment ago and escapes while Jack is writhing in pain.
That being said; what criminal forgets his gun? Wow, that lost major points in the final review of the movie.
Wine bottle to face as a tatic to escape, always a classic. Angela decides to try and use the radio to get some help from the man trying to killer her...but Jack disabled it. You're on a boat. SWIM! But if she did that, we wouldn't have a movie. She does however, go snooping around for something to defend herself and finds a floppy disc with a label that cant be read to the audiance, pockets it and escapes on a smaller motorized boat used as a lifeboat, Jack jumps in to try and kill her, but is thrown off the boat when the motor starts. The boat Angela is on hits rocks, pops, and she wakes up in a hospital 3 days later.
Computer errors are now effecting Wall Street.
Angela goes to check out of the hotel after being discharged from the hospital. Come to find out; Angela Bennent checked out of the hotel a week ago. Maybe she doesn't remember, maybe it's computer error.
She then goes to a payphone to check her bank account. Her mastercard no longer works, a woman approaches her about the temporary Visa she applied for in order to get back into the states, but she is no logner Angela Bennent, she is now Ruth Marx, according to California's department of motor vechicles.
Stolen identies are always fun, aren't they?
Angela Bennet also sold her house; from LA, while "Ruth Marx" is in Mexico, pretty smart criminals.
The police come to the scene and run the name Ruth Marx, only to find that Jack forged fake crimes to her record. Angels runs, like anyone would. Jack, who is obviouly back in the States as well; goes after her himself telling the police he hasn't seen anyone.
The fact she's smart makes up for the fact he's was an idiot on the boat. Points won back.
Angela calls, what I assume to the police, she is transferred to a woman named Angela Bennent; and the fake Angela tells the real Angela to "give us the disk and we'll give you your life back", except the real Angela doesn't know that what they want is the Mozart's Ghost disc, at least not yet.
Angela finds console in her friend Allan (played by Dennis Miller). who gets her a laptop from his house and then takes her to a motel in order to figure things out. Allan has always been my favorite character in this movie. Come to find out, Allan is her former shrink, ya know? The dude she had the affair with? Least it was someone she could trust, his paitent records are confidential, and since this is 90s, chances are not many of the files are online yet. Angela asks Allan to take her mother to a sanitarium under a different name under the ruse that she needs observation, Angela isn't sure what Jack and the few other people trying to kill will do in order to get to her.
When Angela was in the hosptial she found on her person a small business card with numnbers written on the back, it is a passowrd to a hosptial website revealing that the secretary of defense, did not in fact have AIDS, but the password only works after Angela does the familiar crtl+shift thing after clicking the small pi symbol at the bottom of the page. The news realeased earlier in the movie that the secretarty of defense killed himself because he had AIDS and could no longer deal with it.
Angela goes back to CyberBob, only this time CyberBob is not Jack, chances are it never was, Jack was only watching....smart man. The pi symbol is the symbol of a very dangerous cberterriorist group. "They want to take the big house down" says CyberBob, they agree to meet at a public place.
Allan's friend Ben wants to meet Angela and discuss her idenitiy situation, but Angela chooses to meet CyberBob instead. Jack finds CyberBob instead.
Jack is a smart criminal, but of course, you have to be smart to be a cyber-terriorist.
Allan is poisoned by pills he took a moment ago, he's allergic to penillcin, and yet, somehow got prescribed it. But he does live. Good, I like Allan. Angela leaves the hospital to meet CyberBob, they decide to meet a fair, there's for sure enough people, but I don't know if they ever thought fairs like this usually don't have much security. Loosin points for pickin this place.
Switcing back to Allan, who is currently sleeping in the hospital. The nurse switches out his IV's like a routine, but they don't show the nurse's face, making it seem to me like something is up.
Jack finds Angela at the fair and tries to take her hostage. Only to be thwarted by a man in a bunny suit who wants a hug from him. Angela is able to escape. The bunny was a little cheesy, but cool. Points won back.
Angela goes back to the hospital, not knowing where else to go other than to Allan, come to find out, there was something up. Allan was poisioned, this time he doesn't survive.
Points lost for killing my favorite character. Okay, not really; but it still sucks.
Angela is now right where the cyberterriorts want her. Alone. Scared. Hopeless. Lost.
Angela is phoned by Jack on the car phone (is it weird I've always wanted one?). Jack tells Angela that they're a lot alike. Except ya know, the part about Angela not being a criminal?
Jack goes to where Angela's mother is, only to find out that she was moved by Allan. Jack, our of spite does some more hacking and reports Angela's car as stolen, police pick up on it, Angela does what anybody would do in that situation. Runs. Points for being realistic. Only to drive off into a field, car wrecked, but Angela is unharmed and decides to run. Well, unharmed except for a gash to the head, but that seems to be the last thing on her mind. The police finally catch her, arrest her, all that jazz and the name Ruth Marx still pops up.
Angela explains to a public defender her story, which is not believed. (played by L. Scott Caldwell). But the PD tells her the computers have been protected by a program called "Gate Keeper", Angela now realizes it's the program that has the fault. Fixing faults in programs in her speciality. If only she can get someone to believe her.
So what's her next move? Calling her mother from a jail phone. I suppose, even if she has dementia, sometimes a mother's arms are the best place to be. Angela asks her mother to tell the PD that she is who she claims to be. Only, her mother is unable to do that because of the dementia.
Ben (Allan's friend, played by Robert Gosset) comes in and does believe the story. Sidenote: if anyone reading this watches the TNT show The Closer, Robert Gosset is amazing in the role of Captain Taylor. :)
Except, Robert Gosset isn't Ben. He works with Jack. Trying to get the disc, Angela knows because "Ben" mentions how it was ruined in Mexico, which is true, but the only person she told was Allan, who literally "took the secret to the grave". Angela drives "Ben's" car off the road, killing him.
Jack chases down Angela in his car, but Angela comes to a folding bridge, (the ones that allow boats to go under, ya know?) while it is in the process of folding up, Angela jumps down onto the lower platform, but Jack knows if he tries to do that in his car, he's as good as dead, and that's no good. Angela escapes again.
Once Angela sees her name on the televison (well, "Ruth Marx"), she runs again. Being as carful as she can not to stay in one place for a prolonged period of time.
Angela sneaks into a computer software company, where she used to work and finds the woman posing as her. Sets off the fire alarm from a computer to evacuate the building so she can do what needs to do.
Points for creativity.
She gets access to the program, but in order to delete the "Ruth Marx" file, she needs mainframe access. The fire department is on the way, she has a matter of minutes, I take that back, a matter of seconds.
However, Angela is quick, she gets what she needs.
Points for quickness.
Jeff Gregg came up with the program, Jeff was going against the title of secretary of defense, what better way to win than to take out the target, by a fake positive-AIDS test, to a homophobe? Dale gave him the virus that Angela sent to Dale. Angela attaches it to "Angela's" computer and makes a break for it. Except she forgot to exit out of what she was looking at.
Points lost for being careless.
Jack spots Angela outside of the computer software company and begins to hurt her down. With thirteen minutes left in the movie, he needs to step it up.
Angela hides out in the one place she feels comfortable. A computer convention. Angela uses a computer at the convention to send files of evidence that Jeff Gregg was behind everything to the authorites. Proof that Dale and the security of defense's murders were orcatrated by Jeff Gregg, Angela plants a virus into the computer before Jack finds her, and once Jack hits the escape key in order to wipe out, what he thinks his her files, the virus eats through Jeff's program faster than a speeding bullet. Jeff shoots Angela, only to shoot the woman pretending to be her, not the real Angela.
The files were still sent to the FBI and Angela still has the disk that they're on.
Points for creativity, quick thinking, and just being all around smart.
However, now it is just Jack and the real Angela, alone on what looks like a Catwalk. With seven minutes left in the film, one of them need to step their game up.
Jack still has pistol, Angela has nothing. Should be intresting. Except a fire extingusher to Jack's head, knocking him off the catwalk and dead on a platform on contact.
Angela has her life back. and with five minutes to spare.
At the end she meets with her mother (who I forgot to mention is played by Diane Baker).
Nice ending.
So, in a nutshell that's our movie. I personally love it, it's probably one of my favorite thrillers from the 90s.
I give it a 8.7/10
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Osmosis Jones (2001)
For tonights movie I was in the mood for something animated and I had seen Osmosis Jones before, but not since I was kid; it seemed like a good choice, something I didn't have to think about to understand the plot.
Wow, all I have to say about this movie...is I forgot how trippy it is. As far as animated movies go, it's not a masterpiece, but it's a decent timekiller flick.
It seems to me like the writers of the movie, did some acid, and then put a pencil to paper, or fingers to keyboard, whatever they did.
I don't really have any major issues with this movie; other than the writers being on acid when they wrote it.
I feel like I could write a better plot; with better oneliners, with less-gross stunts, (really, the zit poping into the teacher's mouth...seriously, it makes me gag everytime.)
So...4/10 for this one.
Wow, all I have to say about this movie...is I forgot how trippy it is. As far as animated movies go, it's not a masterpiece, but it's a decent timekiller flick.
It seems to me like the writers of the movie, did some acid, and then put a pencil to paper, or fingers to keyboard, whatever they did.
I don't really have any major issues with this movie; other than the writers being on acid when they wrote it.
I feel like I could write a better plot; with better oneliners, with less-gross stunts, (really, the zit poping into the teacher's mouth...seriously, it makes me gag everytime.)
So...4/10 for this one.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Unstoppable (2010)
So, first off; I love this movie. It's probably my favorite movie of the year 2010, and I'm not just saying that because Chris Pine is my husband (he just doesn't know it yet HaHa).
My only problem with this movie was one scene. When Frank(Denzel Washington) and Will(Chris Prine) were rolling train 1206 backwords trying to catch up with the runaway 777, they began talking about their marriages. I really don't think that if I was in their situation, movie or not; that I would want to talk about my marriage, maybe coming up with a plan of how to stop the train would be a better topic? I don't know, it's just a thought.
That being said, I also have a problem with the character Dewey...chances are, if he didn't tie the airbrakes this time, resulting in 777 becoming a runaway, who wants to bet he didn't do before, and just wasn't caught? Why even hire the incompetant douche in the first place? he's the kind of guy that's meant to stay his whole life at McDonalds, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, too.
Connie Hopper, the yard master at least has some sense; she knows when to say 'yes' to her boss Galvin, and when to say 'No, you're wrong, I'm doing it my way, you're not out in this field everyday, go suck it.' She doesn't really say that, of course, but it's what I imagine her saying throughout some of the movie when Galvin really wants things done his way, and they fail. Like sending the Marine to stop the train via Helicoptor to jump down and take control, really; that made sense to you?
But; Frank and Will do get the train stopped with some help from Ned, who even though he's only in a few scenes, is probably my favorite character of the whole movie, exactly how Galvin said it wouldn't work. Shows him. Of course, they did have to get the train stopped, we only had an hour and a half for the movie.Unstoppable my butt. HaHa.
Still, even with the character flaws, and random marriage talks, I didn't find any major plot holes, and that made me happy.
I still really like the movie; I give it a 8.2/10
:)
My only problem with this movie was one scene. When Frank(Denzel Washington) and Will(Chris Prine) were rolling train 1206 backwords trying to catch up with the runaway 777, they began talking about their marriages. I really don't think that if I was in their situation, movie or not; that I would want to talk about my marriage, maybe coming up with a plan of how to stop the train would be a better topic? I don't know, it's just a thought.
That being said, I also have a problem with the character Dewey...chances are, if he didn't tie the airbrakes this time, resulting in 777 becoming a runaway, who wants to bet he didn't do before, and just wasn't caught? Why even hire the incompetant douche in the first place? he's the kind of guy that's meant to stay his whole life at McDonalds, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, too.
Connie Hopper, the yard master at least has some sense; she knows when to say 'yes' to her boss Galvin, and when to say 'No, you're wrong, I'm doing it my way, you're not out in this field everyday, go suck it.' She doesn't really say that, of course, but it's what I imagine her saying throughout some of the movie when Galvin really wants things done his way, and they fail. Like sending the Marine to stop the train via Helicoptor to jump down and take control, really; that made sense to you?
But; Frank and Will do get the train stopped with some help from Ned, who even though he's only in a few scenes, is probably my favorite character of the whole movie, exactly how Galvin said it wouldn't work. Shows him. Of course, they did have to get the train stopped, we only had an hour and a half for the movie.
Still, even with the character flaws, and random marriage talks, I didn't find any major plot holes, and that made me happy.
I still really like the movie; I give it a 8.2/10
:)
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