Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Sorry it's been almost 10 days in between updates. I wanted to sit and watch 2 or 3 movies yesterday, and review them....but sadly, I was stuck in bed with a 24hr virus. It really sucked. However, I'm better today, and ready to get back to it!

Also, I found out that my Dad (who's Netflix account I use) took a lot of DVDs off the queue, so I have no idea what the next movie I wanted to review will be, I sent some more in, but I don't know if he'll decide to knock those off as well. We shall see, I suppose and all in all, it doesn't truly matter, this is exactly the kind of thing the $5 bin at Walmart is for. :)

So; to get this started...

From 1993 - Mrs. Doubtfire. Starring Robin Williams, Sally Field and Pierce Brosnan.

Okay, so let me start off by saying Robin Williams is one of my favorite actors/comedians (except the movie Old Dogs, that sucked and made me fear for humanity a bit). I love Sally Field, especially in Steel Magnoials, but I'm a sucker for a sappy story, even if I do hate them, which probably doesn't make much sense, and I've accepted that. Pierce Brosnan, I can do without, he doesn't bother me, but he's not my favorite.

So, Chris Columbus is director of this movie. That's prboably a good sign, I enjoyed the first two Harry Potter movies (and the rest as well, but I don't believe Columbus directed them, correct me if I'm wrong). The Goonies is a great movie, along with Gremlins. I also found out, upon a quick IMDB search he directed the 2005 version of RENT, which I never saw, but I have seen a play version, and I loved it. He also directed my favorite Julia Roberts movie, "Stepmom". Home Alone 2. Not bad, but the first one was better.

Moving on...

So, the movie starts with Robin Williams at his best. Doing voice impressions. This time he is a bird, and a cat, the cat wants to eat the bird in a Looney Toons style/banter. Seen it, personally, as cool as the Looney Toons are, that style is long been done.

However, the cat, before he eats the bird tries to give the little bird a cigarette, Robin Williams protests, (as he should) by, in the very squeaky bird voice "I don't want to get beak cancer" - "What a foul way for a bird to die" and so on.

Daniel's (Robin Williams) boss rebuttals by telling him "It's not an Oprah Winfrey special, say the line." But Daniel, realizes, and from the looks of it has pulled a stunt like this before "Millions of kids watch this show, it's like sending them all pack of Camel and saying 'light up'".

Daniel quits his job after the issue with his, who I assume to be, boss. It seems like he just couldn't bring himself to promote smoking. Actually, I am fully aware it is only a movie, but I applaud him.

Daniel goes to pick his three kids up from school (the youngest being Mara Wilson, and Matilda is my guilty pleasure movie.) It also turns out to be the son's 12th birthday.  Daniel gets his son a petting zoo for this birthday, in the front yard. Yep, that's what I wanted on my 12th birthday too. Mom (Sally Field) told the son he wasn't allowed to have a birthday party because of his grades, and yet Daniel rebuttles with "Mom isn't going to  be home for another four hours, is she?" Yeah, that's great parenting.

However, Daniel's family must have, like every family movie, the annoying neighbor, the lady gets tired of the animals eating her plants, and calls the authorites. AKA Miranda Hillard, AKA Daniel's wife, AKA Sally Field.

We come into Miranda's work, as an interior designer. She is in a meeting, but Martin Mull interups, (ya know, I've really only liked that man in 2 roles, as the principal from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and as Roseanne's boss, from Roseanne, other than that, I don't find him that appealing). Anyway, Martin Mull (who's name has not been mentioned yet) mention to Miranda that Stuart Dunnmeyer has called. She reacts the way every woman does, when they hear the name of the man they adore. That is, when they're in high school. Miranda is a grown woman. It sickness me.

Miranda comes home, after talking to her neighbor, a literal zoo, on her property. It's illegal to hold banyard nature animals in a residental area, WHO KNEW? She also finds Daniel and her son dancing to rap music on a table, that probably doesn't help the cause. Daniel and Miranda begin arguing, and the kids watch/listen from the top of the stairs. That's gotta be a Happy Birthday killer.

and....big shocker, Miranda wants a divorce, yep, didn't see that coming when he brought home the zoo.

Daniel goes over to this friend's house. One who is on the phone with his mother (and has a very annoying voice) and then other, who makes costume masks. That's handy.

The court grants custody of the children to Miranda, considering the fact that Daniel has no job and no place to live, (he's crashing on the friend's couch). I don't blame the court. He's allowed to see them every Saturday.

Enter Stuart Dunnmeyer, and Miranda Hillard who has whipped cream on the top of her lip. Yeah, that's not embarassing.

Miranda is trying to show off her sketches, of a house that Stuart wants to refinish, but all Stuart wants to do is flirt. Miranda agrees to meet with him later in the week, to "talk".

It's Saturday night, Daniel's time with the three children, and Miranda was an hour late dropping them off, and is now an hour early picking them up, Needless to say, Daniel doesn't like that.

Miranda and he begin talking, Miranda is taking out a personal ad, to try and gain a housekeeper.

Daniel borrows the personal to take a look at it, using the "I have a right to know who is going to be with my children". The idea is churning in his mind, he changes one of the digits of the number Miranda wrote down. Daniel begins calling Miranda using his fake voices, and claming to be people looking for the job, he comes up with the craziest people he can. Then, later, he comes up with Mrs. Doubtfire. A very charming English woman, does anyone see the flaw in his plan? Daniel is not English nor a woman.

What's the best thing do it in this circumstance? Get his friends who make masks to turn him into a woman.

Mrs Doubtfire meets the family. Miranda is mezmerized by Mrs. Doubtfire, and I'm not going to lie, it's a little creepy. After Mrs, Doubtfire meets the children, who all, but the oldest, Lydia, seem to like her, Miranda offers Mrs Doubtfire a cup of tea. Yep, that's not cliche offering the English woman a cup of tea.

Miranda: You remind me of someone.

Me: REALLY?! I WONDER WHO?!?!?!

So, Daniel/Mrs Doubtfire got the job. Because noone saw that coming, right?

On the way home, he bumps into his case worker, and pretends to be, since he is still the costume, Daniel's sister, yeah....nothing can go wrong here, right? and two Asian children see him in the middle of changing back into Mrs Doubtfire. Sadly, he drops his mask out the window, and decides he needs to go get it. and cracks a Norman Bates joke. and the mask gets squished by a semitruck driving down the road, that's convienent, isn't it?

What does one decide to do in the circumstance of having company who is expecting a woman, but having no face? Cover your face in meriange. That usually does the trick.

Mrs Doubtfire, with a new mask catches herself on fire while trying to cook dinner, which went about as well as one could expect, in case you wondering, beating yourself with a spaulta is not the way to put out a fire.

Stuart and Miranda are now dating, and least I would assume...from the goodnight kiss he gave her. Daniel decides to retaliate by breaking off the emblem of his car.

As a person who loves cars, I have to say I almost cried.

At some point in every person's life they are going to have to go to the bathroom. However, most women don't get walked in on by their kids, as they pee, standing up. But, it's still a classic scene. One of my favorite, does that make me odd?

So, the two older kids figure it out, they can't tell the youngest one due to the fact she'll spill to Miranda.

Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.

I doubt this movie will kill off the two oldest children, so I have a feeling it's not going to end the way Daniel wanted it. Mrs. Doubtfire and Miranda begin to have a conversation about Daniel, and how the marriage went wrong, it went wrong the way most marriages go wrong, lack of communication. Miranda was always working, Daniel was always between jobs, Miranda never got to spend time with the kids, and when she did, she had to clean the house that Daniel messed up. That kind of thing.

Miranda, Mrs Doubtfire and the kids meet Stuart at his, I don't know what you would call it, so we'll call it a country club for lack of a better word. The family decides to go to the pool and since it's not easy to swim with a fat suit on, Mrs Doubtfire stays to the bar. Which, for someone reason I find amusing.

Stuart approaches the bar and attains sweet teas for the family, and begins talking to a friend about the 3 kids. He says, even though he didn't want kids in his past, he's pushing 40 and doesn't want to spend the rest of his life alone, and he likes Miranda, and loves the kids. Aw, he's sweet.

So, moving foward, Daniel, this time in his natural setting, as a man, is at his job, in the warehouse section of the production company he worked for at the beginning of the movie, and comes across an empty set, and begins to play with the little dinosaur figurines, except.....the owner of the network walks in on him doing his various voices and skits, but he loves it, and wants to meet with Daniel that Friday to talk business.

Back to life as Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda announced that Stuart has invited her and the kids to dinner, for Miranda's birthday, 7pm at Bridges, except that's the same time and place that Daniel, has his meeting with the owner of the network. and he promises Natalie, the youngest daughter he'll be at dinner with the rest of the family.

What could go wrong here?

The business deal with the owner seems to be going very well. Especially with downing a gallon of scotch, what else makes a party more fun? Except having to change costume every few minutes is probably going to get him caught. Except, Miranda isn't the one to catch on at first, other than the kids of course, It's the owner of the network, who notices he has on women's purfume and forgot to wipe of hte lipstick. But covers it by telling him he had a quicky - with an ex-girlfriend in the bathroom. Not a bad ruse.

So, what does Daniel do this time? Stuart ordered jumbalya, but with no cayan pepper, because he's allergic, Daniel dresses up again as Mrs Doubtfire, sneaks into the closet, gets a chef robe, or whatever you call them, finds the food for table 39, where the family is sitting, and finds the cayan pepper, and well, you can probably figure the rest out for yourself.

We all knew at some point that this whole changing outfits every few minutes was going to get in the way. Daniel approaches the owner of the network again, still dressed as Mrs Doubtfire, which I again, find very amusing. Of course, he tries to cover it by telling him that Mrs. Doubtfire would be a great host for an educational show.

Back to the family, Stuart is now chokeing on the shrimp that was covered in the cayan pepper. By the way, did you ever see his version of Mama Mia that came out a few years ago? It was really good, but everytime he sang, for some reason I pictured this scene, him chokeing on shrimp.

Who should come to his rescue? Why, Mrs Doubtfire of course, she goes to admisinter CPR on Stuart, but in the process the mask begins to peel off. and of course, Miranda is horrified. The older kids, aren't totally susprised, and the youngest daughter is shocked.

It's been three months since the first hearing, and the judge told Daniel at the first hearing that if he got himself together he might consider a joint custody arrangement, I'm guessing the whole dressing up like a woman to spend time with the children isn't going to go over so well.

Miranda gets full custody, the judge didn't understand all he wanted to do was see his children. But, it seems Miranda has a turning point here, she understands what Daniel was trying to do.

In the meantime, Miranda tries to find a new housekeeper, none of which even begin to add up to Mrs Doubtfire. But she do see Mrs Doubtfire got her part on the children's television show. Miranda understands, while laughing with her children how funny Daniel really is. She meets him on the set of his television show to "talk". Miranda annoucnes she doesn't want to hurt the children, they decide through some very sappy dialouge that they're going to work it out. They won't be married, but they'll work it out.

No more supervised visits, no more case workers, just a family, Daniel will take the kids a few hours each day after school until Miranda gets off work.

So, there we go. Mrs. Doubtfire from 1993. Decent little flick, not a masterpiece, but it's decent. Before I give it a rating, I have to say, if my husband dressed up like a woman to spend time with our children, I'd be a little weirded out. Like, to the point I'd never let him see the children again. That's how creeped out I'd be.

But, moving on...a 6/10

Mallrats(1995)

So, I chose this movie for no other reason than it was the first movie on my list of movies I want to review that I did not have to wait on the disk for (I've got like 20 waiting...yep, I'm that cool).

Now, I'm going to start off by saying, I have never seen this movie, and until a few days ago, did not even know it existed.

Without further ado...

So, first off....this movie starts off with a voice that says "So, my cousin Walt once got a cat stuck up his ass." Okay, I'm a little weirded out, and we're only 1 minute 17 seconds into the movie.

Okay, Stan Lee is in the movie. It can't be that bad. Oh, how I love Stan Lee. Sidenote: if I ever get to meet Stan Lee, I'm going to take Doctor Sheldon Cooper's advice and get him to sign a Batman comic. Just to be ironic.

So, now we're 5 minutes 34 minutes into the movie and find out a girl has died because she did 700 laps in the pool at the local YMCA and had an anurism(sp?) because a guy called her fat. Julie (the girl that died) was supposed to go on Brandy's father's gameshow, but obviously...a corpse on a gameshow might kill the mood, so Brandy offers to go on the show to offer solace to her father, except Brandy was supposed to go to Flordia with her boyfriend, T.S

Drama, drama, drama.

and seven minutes and fourteen seconds into the movie T.S and Brandy break up. Yep, didn't see that coming.

After the break up scene between T.S and Brandy we meet Rene and her boyfriend Brodie, Rene is unfulfilled in life, and what's something more, to make a difference, like the doctors curing illness, and so forth, while sneaking out of Brodie's house, (because Brodie still lives with his mother; and his mother doesn't like Rene very much) she throws a letter at him, it's a breakup letter.

Yeah, breaking up with someone via letter is okay in the 2nd grade. Not in your 20s.

The two boys get together and discuss their problems in their love lives, or now..lack there of.

So where do the boys decide the best place to go is? The mall. Yeah, the mall is totally where I go when I'm depressed *rolls eyes* I hate the mall, with a passion. Brodie, runs into a (very young and attractive) Ben Affleck, that doesn't really matter towards the movie, I just think it's funny. Ben Affleck runs a clothing store, that Brodie says is pretentious.

While at the mall, TS and Brodie find another friend, Dylan who is trying to find the hidden picture within a picture, but Dylan tells them that the stage TS and Dylan are curious about stage in the middle of the mall, which turns out; is a game called "Truth or Date" a game show Brandy's Dad runs.

TS and Brodie go looking for Jay and Silent Bob for help of destroying the game show.

Brodie runs into Rene at the mall, tries to win her back, and yet gets the response "Piss off".

Back to Jay and Silent Bob, they're genious idea to take out the mall security is Silent Bob running at the guard with a sock full of quarters. Only; a child understands what is going on, and shoves a toy truck in his way. Yep, way to go Jay and Silent Bob.

Stan Lee is signing comics, in the comic book store. TS and Brodie's dream.

Silent Bob takes to the stage to remove the pin, only misses. Of course, ya know, if I used a rope and a makeshift Batman costume, I totally think I'd make it.

Back to Brodie and Rene, Rene is now with Ben Affleck's character (who's name has not came up yet). TS goes for answers, because Brodie and Ben Affleck hate each other, more than toothpaste and orange juice. Ben Affleck admits that he's dating Rene. While TS distracts Ben Affleck, Brodie pulls Rene into the the elevator. Rene and Brodie start discussing, more like yelling about their relationship, and end up having sex, in the elevator.

"That was romantic, right?" Brodie asks. Yeah, he's a keeper.

Sidenote to this movie: Gwen, TS and Brodie's friend has an annoying voice, but that doesn't really
matter.

If this movie were to have a villan, it would be Brandy's father. He admits he is responsbile for Brandy's and TS's breakup.

and now Ben Affleck is kicking Brodie's butt. It comes out that Ben Affleck is only dating Rene, because she's on the rebound, because the sex is better, but he tells Jay and Silent Bob that it was the man in the easter bunny suit sitting at the station in the mall. What do Jay and Silent Bob do? They go beat up the Easter Bunny.

Another sidenote: So far, this movie sucks.

Brandy's dad has TS and Brodie forcibly removed by mall security, for good.

Rene hears screams of her name and runs away from Ben Affleck, to find Jay and Silent Bob (and Dylan still trying to figure out the picture within the picture), Jay and Silent Bob find the boys and after bashing a mall cop's head with a bat, make a run for it.

Don't worry, he's still alive just knocked out. Okay, not even knocked out, he gets right back up.

That's one problem with the movie, no one would have gotten right back up after being hit in the head with a metal baseball bat. Jay and Silent Bob make it out by using a grappling hook that Silent Bob has, why he has a grappling hook? BECAUSE HE'S SILENT BOB!

The boys go to a psychic, to find out what to do. A topless psychic. Go figure. A topless psychic with 3 nipples. WTF.

Okay, that was pretty ingenius, it was peperroni made to look like a 3rd nipple. Seriously, that's pretty smart.

Stan Lee meets Brodie outside a lingere store. Why does that not susprise me? As cool as Stan Lee is. They begin talking about love. Yeah, that's totally when I'd discuss with Stan Lee if I could ever meet him.

Jay and Silent Bob meet the two male contestents and try and freak them out, so that TS and Brodie can get on the game show hosted by Brandy's dad; so that TS can get back with Brandy. Jay also gives the two men some weed. If nothing else, they'll get arrested. TS, it turned out paid Stan Lee to talk to Brodie, he's a good friend, :)

Brandy's dead finally gets sick due to some rotten good given to him by Brodie. He refuses to stop working, what could possibly go wrong here? Jay bets up more cops, Silent Bob however is wiring something to the top of the rafters for TS, which another friend goes to get a tap of some sort from Brodie's house.

We're now to the game show. Brandy is asking each of them questions, like on every game show. Brodie is giving the third guy a hard time, the other friend finally delivers the tape; now, onto the tape. Jay throws it to Silent Bob, who misses the catch and it falls between the rafters.

Brandy figures out it's TS and Brodie pretty easily.

But Brodie gets annoyed and Brandy and tells TS to propse to Brandy like was intended, at the beginning of the movie, before she broke up with him. He does, and the answer is, of course, like every other cheesy 90s movie, a yes.

and even with only 11 minutes in the film, Dylan still can't see the sailboat.

Brodie gets up on the stage and tries to win Rene back, telling him "You have my heart." Ah, yay for cheesy lines. Silent Bob finally gets the tape. On the tape is Ben Affleck having sex with the friend, who went to get the tape.

and...Brodie ends back up with Rene.

All's well that ends well.

I give the movie a 3/10.